The Purposeful Life

Before I received eternal life I felt empty and purposeless.

I would often say to my mother that I wished I were dead. I was sixteen and wondered, "Is there really a god?" I actually wrote on a piece of paper, "God, if you are real please show me." I started searching for meaning in Taoism. I read Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet and wrote deep quotes in a special book. I would often say, "I feel so blah." My friends were searching, too. God heard our hearts' cry and met us in a small church on the corner street of our small town. A young couple dedicated their Sunday nights to answering our endless questions. A personal Savior? He died for me? He loved me? I was all in! At that point I didn't fully understand what my sin had done to Him. Yet I was moving in His direction and living up to the light He had given me.

I needed a savior. I accepted Jesus in my life. Then it all began!!! God continued to show me more about Himself. He showed me that my life needed to be for him. I understood that I needed to be a disciple and not just be "saved". I was ready to do whatever He called me to do! I finally had purpose! As the years continued He showed me my selfishness and my sin. I began to understand what my sin had done to Him. I became heartbroken over my sin.

Now I wake up each morning ready for my "marching orders".

In these past 40 years He has sent me to teach Sunday school classes to children, to direct Vacation Bible Schools, to join a mission organization, to travel to the high mountains of Peru, to travel to the pine barrens of New Jersey, to minister to unwed mothers, to teach in a private Christian school, to teach in a public school, to lead a prayer group in a public school. The list goes on and on!

If I were to die right now. I would face God and say that by the blood of Jesus Christ only I may enter heaven. There is no good in me other than what Jesus has done for me. By the grace of God may I enter his kingdom.