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The life of a trooper
Nobody has anything too big in their lives that God cannot and/or will not get you through. My life has been a rollercoaster ride on which the Lord has been my seat partner as we go up and down on the ride of our life. There is a poem in the book, "Holy Sweat," which tells about God and His passenger going up and down hills on a bicycle. He tells us to get rid of things that are too cumbersome for the ride, only to be replaced with things we need as we continue on the ride. Buckle up and hold on tightly as you prepare for the ride of your life with your Savior, friend, comforter, peace giver, lover and forgiver.
A relationship with God frees me from my past while reminding me of God's unconditional love, experiencing comfort, joy, peace, forgiveness and hope.
My life experience has been very negative, with a lot of anxiety, depression, anger, fear, sense of worthlessness and no self confidence. Most of my life, I have been at least 50 pounds overweight. I have lost 28 pounds in the last 4 months, halfway to my goal. At the age of 36, I made a serious attempt to take my life. My daughter was only 12 years old. She still, 16 years later, struggles with forgiveness towards me for that. In my opinion, it changed my life forever. For the first time, I truly felt loved by God. The phone was right next to me on the bed (it's NEVER there!) and I was able to call my church. My lung collapsed while in the hospital and, several times, they did not know if I would make it. In 2004, there were several traumatic events in a 4-month period that shook me to the core. While in a police car on the way to the hospital after one of these traumatic events, I sang "Shine, Jesus, Shine - fill this cop car with the Father's glory..." I stopped at one point and the officers said it's pretty and asked me to keep singing. While growing up, there was a lot of physical and emotional abuse in my family. After first attending my church in 1992, a staff member recommended I read "The Bondage Breaker." I went through the suggested steps and was able to forgive my father. We now have a very healthy, wonderful, supportive and encouraging relationship. One struggle I have always had is with men. When I meet a single man who shows any interest in me, I get obsessed and cannot stop thinking about him. This is now an issue God is really working with on me. I have sensed for a long time that there will not be a man in my life until I quit smoking. This is very difficult as I've smoked for 30 years with many failed attempts to quit. There is still part of me that's hanging on in fear. God has been healing me from the inside out from most of these concerns and is giving me a new life filled with joy, confidence, peace, love and hope. I am so thankful for what God has done, and is doing, in my life. Loneliness and desire for a companion are still big struggles, but I know God has the perfect answer in His perfect timing that will bring Him glory.
In hindsight, as I look back on my life, I KNOW God will come through because He is completely faithful and just. I look forward to dancing on the streets of gold as I worship my Savior and King. He is amazing. We can trust Him and know that He will NOT let us down.
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