Testimony of Redemption

Don't ignore that feeling inside of you that says something is missing from life or that something is wrong. Do you ever just feel like you are just pretending? Like you have it together, nice clothes, nice friends, but inside you were broken? Insecure? Lacking good judgment? Always feeling like you weren't reaching your potential? Living like someone you didn't really want to be, but didn't know a way out. Before I knew Christ, I was full of anger, paranoia, and disappointment. Not just with myself, but with all those around me. There came a time where pretending wasn't cutting it anymore. Happiness does not equal joy.

I had so many issues with disliking my own dad and my own life, that I truly believed no one could have it worse than me. I lacked sympathy for others, I was selfish, and never thought the pain of family issues would end. I woke up every day just so sick of the stresses of life, non of which really should have belonged to me. I was carrying everyone else's burdens, but didn't know a God who could carry them with me.

God started pursuing me in my darkest of moments. He was the only one I could share my pain and burdens with, no one here on earth could fulfill the role of Father I needed so badly. I was too prideful to let anyone in and too deep in my own guilt to be forgiven. He already knew everything about me because He created me. In His presence there is no shame.

Now that I know Christ, I have a Father to run to. One that knows my name, who truly knows me, one that longs to know how my day went. When life and family fails around me, I know God will listen. God will be faithful and show me the righteous way to live. My stress is now in God's hands, which gives me all-knowing comfort and peace. No one can separate me from this love, and it is the only love I need. He gives me patience and transformation that can only be accredited to His redemption. I am free indeed! I have been baptized and washed clean with the Spirit! What a joy it is to surrender my anger and live in peace with Christ.

At church one day, my pastor asked us if we are fully surrendered to Jesus. Did we let Him be the master of our life? Or did we say we loved God and then live life by our own will? I could not answer that question honestly, and with a heavy heart I begged Jesus to live my life with me. Being a good person is not good enough. We can't earn our way to heaven. Since then, my salvation and testimony have been my strength. I no longer doubt God's involvement in my life or if He is my Savior. I am His and He is mine, the peace that comes with that is amazing. All glory to God for that transformation and assurance!

Now I know that all the pain of the past is wiped away. All my guilt and anger has been forgiven. I know that any new suffering in the future is taken care of by Jesus. I have eternal life in His name. Anything life tries to throw my way, God is faithful and will be by my side. I am no longer alone. Freedom to live is found in Christ alone. I no longer fear the future, but long for God's blessings. Jesus is a boss. Just ask me if He is real and I can give you so many reasons why!