Surrendered and saved: A testimony of how God radically changed me

Before I came back to God I was ready to go to sleep and never wake up again.

My turning point came when I finally hit my breaking point. I remember looking around at my life and realizing I couldn’t keep living the way I was. I asked my mother if I could pack up my four children and move eleven hours away to Virginia, just to have some kind of support system. I was in such a dark place that I was ready to check myself into a mental health hospital. I was having self-harm thoughts, wishing I could just go to sleep and not wake up again. The fear of being a single mother who would struggle for the rest of her life consumed me. When my mom’s husband agreed that we should come, I knew I had to make the move — but it broke me. I packed up everything, leaving behind the stability I had worked so hard to create. I left my home, the career I loved, and the small sense of security that came with government assistance. I had spent five long years building that life from scratch after escaping an abusive relationship that could have cost me my life. Before that, my children and I lived in a homeless shelter for almost eight months. That home had felt like my reward for surviving. But now, I was walking away from it all. And when I got to Virginia, the reality hit me hard. The move spiraled me into a deeper depression and anxiety. My PTSD, which had been quiet for years, came roaring back to the surface. I started to question everything — wondering if I had made a mistake choosing the support of family over the stability I had built with my own two hands. I felt like a complete fool, lost and unsure of who I was anymore.

One hot day in early July, everything began to change. I went to the beach with my now–dear friend, Claudia. We were standing in the water, and she was talking about God with such boldness and conviction — the kind I had never seen before. I remember telling her straight up that I thought the Bible was completely made up, created by white men to control minorities and women. I couldn’t understand why some pope somewhere got to decide which books of the Bible I could or couldn’t read. I was angry with God — but still, deep down, I was grateful. I knew that many of the trials and tribulations I had faced came from my own choices, and even though I was broken, I was thankful that God had still used my pain to help me speak to other women who were struggling. There was this strange mix inside me — anger, confusion, and gratitude — all tangled up together. Claudia invited me to come to a Wednesday night Bible study on July 30th at 7 p.m. I had never been to one before, and the thought of walking in alone terrified me. My anxiety was at an all-time high, but my mother offered to come with me. Together, we walked into Harvest Assembly of God, and from the moment I stepped through those doors, I could feel something shifting. That night, God met me right where I was. He saw my pain, my exhaustion, and my doubt — and instead of turning away, He embraced me. In my spirit, I could feel Him lift me up and wrap me in a love I had never known before. It felt like being hugged tighter than I had ever been hugged in my entire life. From that day forward, God has radically changed my life.

God completely transformed me — He delivered me from addiction, lust, and loneliness, filled every empty place in me with His love and Spirit, and turned my brokenness into a boldness that now shines His light through me to reach and heal others.

After that night, I began to pray differently. I stopped asking God just to fix my life and started asking Him to transform me. One of the first things I prayed about was my addiction to weed. I told God, “I want to be sober-minded. I don’t want to depend on anything other than You for my peace and comfort.” I admitted to Him that I wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own — but I believed that He was. I promised that if He removed the urge from me, I would obey Him. A couple of weeks later, He did exactly that. The urge was gone. No craving. No desire. Nothing. I’ve been completely sober for two months now — and it’s all God. I also battled an addiction to lust. I had spent years using men to feel loved and wanted, mistaking temporary attention for real affection. But when God got ahold of me, He started healing that too. I’ve now been abstinent for 122 days, and I can confidently say that I won’t give myself to anyone again until the day I marry my husband. I never thought I would say that, but now it feels freeing. I don’t need a man to fill me — God already has. He filled every crack and crevice of loneliness in my body with His love and His Holy Spirit. He took a broken woman and put her back together — not with weak glue that leaks, but with His perfect touch that makes it look like I was never broken to begin with. Now people tell me they can see God’s light shining through me. He’s given me boldness I never thought I could have. I minister to women going through the same pain I once did, and God keeps placing people in my path that I can evangelize to. Every time I share His love, I feel Him working through me — reminding me that He really does turn ashes into beauty.

Today, I’m walking in a peace I never knew existed. I wake up every morning knowing that I am loved, chosen, and protected by God. The same girl who once begged God to take away her pain is now thanking Him for her purpose. My faith isn’t lukewarm anymore — it’s alive. I talk to God like He’s my best friend because He is. I see His hand in everything, from the way He provides for my children to the people He places in my life. He continues to grow me, strengthen me, and use me to touch others who feel lost or forgotten. I’m no longer a woman defined by trauma, addiction, or shame. I’m a daughter of the Most High — healed, whole, and walking boldly in the calling He’s placed on my life. I’ve learned that when I finally let go of control and gave God every piece of me — the pain, the confusion, the fear — He gave me back a life far greater than I could’ve imagined. Now, I’m raising my children with faith at the center. I’m building a future that’s rooted in God’s promises, not my past mistakes. And every day, I remind myself that if He could save me from the darkness I was drowning in, then there’s truly nothing He can’t do. God didn’t just rescue me — He redeemed me. And I will spend the rest of my life telling others that the same God who healed me can do the exact same thing for them.