Seeing but not seeing but Yeshau/Jesus is here - there.

God tried to work in my life in every way I was just complex and I did not get it till the Father sent Yeshua / Jesus came into my life to save it. I had become afraid of the future and I want a life with family and friends.

I was a alcoholic and drug addict addicted to meth and non active in life for a long time and became detached from the normal and my family I was not in Church did not know if my life would ever change from the deprivation it was in physically and morally I was at my end and thought death and suicide was my only way out the endless cycle of substance abuse and homelessness lack of money to do anything. I was at the end I had seen and felt enough pain and was disappointed with religion and my old ways and the endless let downs - circumstances to worse. The Father sent Yeshua / Jesus into my life as he tried to do in the past to save me from all the darkness I lived in and loneliness. No one new how bad off I was and it seemed like no one cared except a few that prayed for me and those that did care had no idea how sad and miserable I was everyday going no where.

After many divine experiences of the heavenly type very spiritual events had happened that made me believe in the supernatural aspects of God and life here on earth as a human being I was getting older and I finally got serious about God and wondered if I could recover from the years of abuse and suffering. If Yeshua / Jesus helped me it could make the difference for me like he (them) helped so many others to believe but I'am unique with great needs I tried to believe and did have faith in all the miracles story's I heard about and encouragement that anything is possible with God.I wondered if it could work for me could I look like someone that was not down on his luck poor and depraved I was homeless and there were no inclination that I would get better with out the supernatural help of the Trinity and mentally recover with my health get on my feet get a home and start over with new beginnings in Jesus Christ. I was not a well person needed a lot of help for years I lived the endless cycle of poverty my reality and religion became a burden till they Yeshua/Jesus the Father and Holy Spirit gave me a sign a verse out of the bible about his purpose and word not being void but his word would do something great in my life and it does. He has been faithful to answers all my prayers and is making a difference in the lives of others through his light and promises and word he is the way maker that has made leaving the evil I existed in and darkness easy a way out and into safe pastures. I had been forgiven for the years of stupidity and neglect and delivered from the curse my life was under that was is sin.

I no longer fear I no longer fear chance for my salvation and deliverance which represents a few things is for sure and real changed by god will and words life is not by just chance anymore but by divine appointment and God to position me for his glory. He answers my prayers and renewed my life for a better deal with faith that paid off my debt God is real and his Spirit all over my life has changed me for the better and recovery is in fruition.

I have lived life taking chances and most things failed and it was hard to admit one night while it was raining and I was out begging asking money from from strangers while high on drugs/meth and tired I crossed a red light while it was raining and because of the weather the car did not see me could not stop but ran over me and my head I had a bad concussion and new what it was like to see white go to heaven like I died and then to wake up and be discharged from the Trama unit after my brain bleed I needed help and was alone could not care for my self lived in a shelter for the homeless and ended up with no insurance for recovery from the incident. It was a higher power Yeshua/Jesus that started to change me with interventions in my life and I would do anything to be made well and normal in society and life again I believed God came through for me and started to answer my prayers things always fell into place and better opportunity's came into life that helped me along the ways one thing lead to something better always even when it seemed impossible and it was possible for God to arrange all the miracles and people he placed into my life with love. God is working a miracle in my family as well they do not know a lot but they know God is interested in us and cares about them and wants us to be at our best and be does the miracles and answers prayers.

When the Spirit made himself known to me and worked miracles in my life as someone someone who cared and new everything all knowing and is the future he opened the gates of heaven to rain down blessings for me he does not leave me or abandon me to the mud or tire of me but would come through for all things and the challenging days that questioned my sanity and faith and hope by replacing it with real hope - help and deliverance's . My life will never be the same it has really mattered in these days that God proves himself faith everyday and is still doing so he listens and reads my prayers and help others around me near and far he is a awesome God and good good father. Febuary -2- 2020 I will have three years and the years before only planted the seeds that I harvest today and there is not much I do not deserve but he till forgives gives giving confidence and hope - love to me.