Saved by grace thru Faith

Before my salvation I was lost for many years and struggled greatly. I come from a family of alcoholics and drug addiction. There has been much physical, emotional and sexual abuse in my family. I remember lots of parties, fighting and poverty as a child. My siblings and I spent days without adult supervision. I had to comfort my younger sister when she cried out for mommy but mommy was at the bar and she usually didn't come home until we were sleeping and she'd be gone when we got back from school or the next afternoon. My stepfather beat her brutally when they got married and I witnessed this as a 4 year old child. He tried to touch me in a sexual way at that time. My brother was shot when I was 6 years old and he was my best friend and my protector. I received a Holy Bible at that time and I would often read the books of wisdom, psalms and proverbs. I even read most of the gospels and the book of Revelation. I needed to hear that God loved me as I've rarely felt loved as a small child and that drew me to God's word. I got heavily into drugs and alcohol after my mom was killed by my step-dad in 1999. I ran to my father but he was struggling with alcoholism as well and often he would kick me out onto the streets. I'd end up in a crack house and being taking advantage of by men as a young teenager. I attempted suicide 3 times I fell in love with my husband and we were both heavily into crack Cociane alcohol and eventually herion and methamphetamine. We lost our daughter and I had several abortion during this time. I was selling my body to get high. My husband went to prison and I got pregnant by another male individual I met on the Fourth of July 1 day after my husband was arrested. I lived a terrible life of sin and never thought God would love me. I was dead in my sin and I still believed there was a God and deep down I knew that I'd not be addicted all my life to alcohol and drugs. I finally had enough after 10 years of drug abuse. I felt as if the devil had me trapped in a sick bandage of herion addiction I wanted desperately for my husband and I to get off of the drugs and we just couldn't do it as we'd wake up sick or just be up all night sick living to find our next get well fix. I knew I wouldn't be able to quit unless something drastic changed. I was so desperate I asked God to take my 3 year old child from me as I knew that was the only way I'd be able to muster up the strength to get help. A few weeks later that is exactly what happened. We were thrown out of my father in laws home and my father had been committed to the state that year. We were homeless and sleeping downtown in the woods while it rained and started to snow all we had to sleep on was a piece of plywood and a dirty blanket that was out there in the woods. This is where the street people would go and sleep when they were too high or too drunk to be allowed in the homeless shelter. I decided right then that I'd not live like this ever again. I admitted myself into a methadone clinic and found out I was pregnant again so they bumped me up on the list and I was in getting help in less than 2 weeks. My husband Larry he never came in the clinic to get help. It was devastating. I realized soon that if I was going to get Clean and get my daughter back we were going to have to separate because I couldn't stay clean. The methadone clinic gave me an ultimatum to go to inpatient rehab or leave. Thankfully the day I was to admit myself the police stopped my husband and I and he was arrested and put in jail. It would've been to hard for me to enter into rehab knowing he was in the streets. I believe that was divine Providence. I did end up getting clean in rehab and Larry got a 2 year sentence for grand theft auto. By the time he got out I had my 3rd daughter and had gotten reunification with my daughter by her 5th birthday.

I was clean sober and feeling better than I had ever felt in my whole entire life. I finally felt free. I started attending church and was baptized in 2014. I got into a training program to become a nurse aide and eventually ended up in a Caregiver position which I have been at for 9 years now. I had a bad experience when I first for clean and soon after I was baptized I tried to join the Church of Christ where my younger sister went to Church regularly. She introduced me to the leader and she totally blew my mind by denying my baptism. There doctrine is that of the "True Church of Christ " therefore if you weren't baptized into thier particular church you weren't truly saved and furthermore God didn't even know me or hear any of my prayers. I was also told that they wouldn't baptize me either as I was on medication. I was completely flabbergasted and dumbfounded. I struggled with this lie for the next 10 years. Between then and now my husband died and my father along with many of my relatives. It took losing my father to really turn me back to God and to finally get back to a place of praying and seeking the Lord diligently. I was so brokenhearted that I could not stand the pain I was enduring. I met some nice women in a griefshare group who validated my feelings and helped me let go of the lie about me not being saved or heard by Father God and began to accept Jesus and cry out to him. Miraculously I was visited by Jesus I believe. I saw an amazing ball of light with colors swirling like the sky with red and then purple and the outline of what I now believe was wings. I felt and energy surge throughout the top of my head and with that came a peace and comfort beyond all understanding!!! Since this happened I've been hungry for God's word everyday. I'm still struggling a bit here and there and learning to walk in righteousness and in the holy spirit. It is not easy but prayer is helpful and I've joined a local church and am taking a class on the Holy Spirit. I've been sober off alcohol and illegal drugs for 10 years going on 11 on June 13th. Please pray for me. I had to open my heart ti the Lord and admit all my shortcomings and submit myself to him before the Holy Spirit decended upon me from Heaven. May the Lord keep me & you faithfully forever and ever.

I have more peace and less bitterness.

I know now that there is a spiritual realm and that we must be vigilant for the enemy goes around like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour. I have to constantly stay in the Christ Jesus and prayer.

The Lord is merciful to forgive even a sinner like me. The devil is the author of lies don't let him make you think your not good enough for the Lord is merciful and full of love for all of his children.

Don't lose hope nor faith and live with love for others. Forgive and be forgiven. Stay close to Jesus and confess to him all your troubles and he will make your enemies a foot stool. For we now have a great intercession on our behalf which is a free gift from our Heavenly Father.