Ryan's testimony

Before I received eternal life I was self-centered and was more concerned with pleasing myself (cheap thrills) than pleasing others or God. I knew something was missing in my life.

I remember the despair and emptiness I felt in my life when we faced the sudden death of my father-in-law in 1990 to suicide. He was a good man and a strong influence in my life. I knew there had to be "more" to life than the existence I was leading.

Then I discovered - someone shared with me - how I could have eternal life. I realized that God loved me - no matter what I had done in my life - and that Christ had come to bear all of the sins I had ever done - that we all have ever done. I came to the realization that I did not have to live in the emptiness of myself. I could live a life worthy of honoring Christ - transform myself, with his help, to lead a life worthy of being called a child of God. Living a life the way he created me. I finally understood grace, mercy and forgiveness and the inner peace that resulted from that understanding.

Now I know I have eternal life. I no longer only live for myself, but to honor and glorify God through Christ. This has greatly simplified my life and, in some ways, made it more complicated.

I now know that voice in my head telling me what I should do - the right thing to do. I also still have that voice of Satan (evil one/deceiver/devil) trying to steer me to the wrong choice. I pick the noble/right choice most of the time and know to ask for forgiveness when I make the wrong choice.

I have lived a better, fuller life since my born again moment in 1992. I am more confident and have studied the Bible (daily and weekly and with other believers) to get a better understanding of God and how he wants me - all of us, actually - to lead our lives. This has given me the "peace that surpasses understanding" and a clearer purpose for my life. This has led me to have a greater, more positive impact on my family, my church, my friends, my work and every aspect of my life. I am not perfect or infallible, and I am still a work in progress. But I know if I died today, I would spend it in heaven in eternity with God. I have a relationship with God. One that he intends all of us to have with him. I know I have a purpose here on Earth. My life is no longer empty and void. I live for Christ and seek to please him in everything I do because of everything He did for me, even when I didn't deserve it.