Prison Break (From Lust to Love)

Before I received eternal life I lived in a prison of guilt and shame, low self esteem, major insecurities, pain of rejection, depression and addiction. All of which kept me from seeing my true identity. I was bound.

I remember moments when I would be sneaky and watch pornography even after giving my life to Christ. My immaturity would say, "Oh well I’m already forgiven so I should be ok". Guilt and shame would settle in but more than that I would be totally convicted. I would feel bad about it, knowing that Christ paid the ransom to free me from this mess. The difference for me, about being in Christ and not being in Christ was the conviction which lead to my repentance. Outside of Christ I was ashamed, but now in Him I'm unashamed because of the good news that I'm still loved despite my falls. His goodness is what lead to my repentance.

My story of change isn’t like many others! I gave my life to Christ between the ages of 16-18 but didn’t begin to dedicate my life fully to Christ til I reached 30. I still struggled as a Believer til revelation one day would just smack me in the face and said “Consider Christ”. Every time a thought of going back to pornography entered my mind the Holy Spirit would say “Consider Christ” There was no way I could ignore that. Those words carry so much weight and conviction, which keeps me free from sexual immorality.

Now that I have revelation of eternal life I no longer desire pornography, I value myself and others, I’m secure in my identity in Christ, I live knowing that I’m accepted,loved, and forgiven. Instead of hiding and being in shame about that addiction, I’m open and willing to testify to anyone about my former struggle and the dangers that come along with having a porn addiction. Before my transformation, you wouldn’t catch me talking about pornography simply because of the shame that came along with it. Now it’s a totally different story!

Well the simple fact that I wrote a book called “Prison Break” pertaining to my once issue with pornography and other issues is a testament of my deliverance and victory over this evil. To be able to put all my shameful and embarrassing moments in a book and present it to the world is when I knew I was free and that Satan no longer had a hold on me.

I’ve been presented an opportunity to live a life free from condemnation through accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. And because I made the choice to confess Him as Lord and believe He died and resurrected so I can live eternally. I’m confident in God that I will see Heaven after this life.