Patience, Penitence and life as a Peer

My life was devoid or any purpose or meaning and I was suffering from severe mental illness and drug addiction.

I had attempted suicide twice already in my life and was very close to a third attempt. But by some small miracle, God decided to keep me alive for a bigger purpose which was to go on and use my personal lived experience to help and minister to others also facing mental illness and substance abuse problems. My illness and substance abuse took all the way to being homeless and then I checked myself into a Christian Rehab (The Salvation Army) and started to find personal meaning in life and become closer to God. But it didn't happen immediatly. I would have one more close attempt at suicide before God really got my attention one night and saved me again. I was suffering from bed bug bites, ring worm and many other afflictions while I was in there. But praying in the Chapel by myself and reading the Bible began to draw me closer to God and he showed me a purpose. Sometime later after that, I actually baptized myself in e Atlantic Ocean one cold morning and I asked God for forgiveness and I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and then I had an amazing experience with the Holy Spirit.. God assured me that he was with me and he is my Lord and Savior and that my sins were forgiven. He then asked me to be a warrior for Christ through the Holy Spirit. (FYI some of my testimony has already been published on another international Christion website and it has drawn significant approval and thumbs up from nearly 600 people worldwide . if you google: "inspiration.org Mangled by Mental Illness Mended by Jesus" by Billy Jo Youmans, you will see this story about "Rick" I am the "Rick in that story" But it only shares a small part of my testimony. I would like to share more to inspire people who have mental illness or substance abuse that God is with them and he has a purpose for them I now spend my life and career helping other s with similar afflictions and I frequently discuss the Gospel with them.

After I baptized myself and prayed for Jesus to be my Lord and Savior I had an amazing experience with the Holy Spirit and the Spirit breathed itself into my body and the words Spoken were "Rick, I am the Lord the God. I am with you. Your sins are forgiven and you no longer have to fear death. I want you to be warrior for Christ" All of this happened as I was laying on the ground. After that moment I have not feed death and I have spent much of my time trying to help others and spread the Word.

After my experience with the Holy Spirit I was absolutely at peace with my mortality and have no fear of dying.

After I ws blessed with my experience with the Holy Spirit I felt moved to spread the Word of the Lord. So this m sound a little crazy, but I went to a very dangerous part of Newark NJ where I use to by drugs from and I took my Bible and began preaching on the street to those walking by looking or drugs. I was just about 10-15 yards away from the vicsious drug dealers (who happened to be affiliated with the Bloods Street gang) And after the dealers heard me preaching very loud and telling people to repent and try and stop drugs, the dealers began threatening me with very serious bodily harm. They were yelling at me to get off of their corner. But for some reason I felt I had the armor of God on my side and I stood firm and continued preaching the word. And then after they really were ready to beat m down, some young ladies from the projects came by and heard me preaching and stopped to listen. They began saying that they should go back to Church after my mini-sermon BUT it was these three young ladies who kept the Drug dealers from attacking me. I knew God was on my side and would protect me like Daniel in the Lion's Den

There is no doubt in my mind about my eternal life. God already made that clear to me through the Holy Spirit and he has continued to bless me here on earth with his favor and has protected me from harm already. I trust his words spoken to me that I do not need to fear death and I want to continue my mission of serving him and spreading the message and my message to those who have been homeless or drug addicted or attempted suicide and that is why I work in the Human services filed to help others. God has shown me Grace and Mercy and has inspired me o continue to do some of his work with the least of his children.