Once was lost but now am found

The Lord keeps putting it on my heart that if I want to overcome my past that I should give my testimony so here I go... I grew up going to church as a young girl, every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and tent revivals.... Then my family moved away and going to church ended.... (My parents weren't about that life) I ended up pregnant at 16 and had to drop out of high school my second semester of my senior year to raise my daughter on my own. When she was 5 I married and thought life was good... I was soooooo wrong. My family had moved to Alabama and I stayed up in Illinois, then the abuse began. My husband kept me isolated and as the years of abuse went on, the worse it got. Everyday I was fearful of my life ending. My parents were in a car wreck that left my brother quadriplegic , so they had enough on their plate, so they never knew the hell I was living in. I hid it from everyone. One night at a friends house my husband took it too far and the cops were called and a judge gave us a 5 year enhanced no contact order and my parents were notified so my father came up to get me. Years later, I met another abusive man and then I met my youngest daughter's father.... You know how they say the devil doesn't approach you as an ugly creature, they are right.... Ember's father wooed me off my feet, and took me down a road of destruction. I became addicted to a drug called GHB, and also to his life style of selling drugs. I was 5 months pregnant when he was arrested and in 2017 I went to prison, and 3 months later he was given not 1 but 3 life sentences and it killed me. My little brother passed away, I was losing everyone that I loved.... My kids were taken from me. I had nothing to live for... Next thing I know, the devil gave me the idea if I couldn't be with him why not be like him.... 4 months later the narcotics bust me with enough drugs that I was facing 99 yrs in prison. In jail, I told my attorney I wanted to go to rehab. My aunt got me accepted at the Mission of Hope and the judges granted me approval to go to rehab on a bond condition. ( my bond was 50.000 cash) so that was my 1st blessing...

I found the Lord truly November 11th, 2018.... I can't explain the feeling I experienced. I finally felt comforted, I was no longer lost.... The Mission of Hope saved my life, but that was just the beginning. I was court ordered there for 1 yr, by 3 different judges... I graduated the 90 program in February and had a surprise court date the very next week..... I didn't have any clue what to expect. I got to court and the judge brought me back to his chambers and after asking how I plead, which was guilty, because I was... He told me I was facing 30 yrs EACH CHARGE... I looked at my lawyer like what did he just tell me to do, lol... Then the judge told me he didn't know why he was doing this but he was going to give me 100 months and allow me to do my time on the streets. So basically I am on parole. He told me that and the holy spirit came all over me. He asked if I had anything to say and I laughed and told him about Jesus and the Mission of Hope! He was so impressed he took down their information and told me not to make him regret his choice...

I have since then, received not just my freedom back, but I am healed from my addiction, I have the love of my children back, and my life may still be tough but I thank the Lord for every tough time and every day I wake up free... He is a healer, a sanctifier, my rock, my redeemer and if he can do all of this for me, he can do it for anyone!!!!! His words never come back void. And for those thinking they aren't good enough, NEITHER WAS I!!!!! Then I learned that he doesn't look for those who are perfect but more so for those who have faith in their chaos and for those who are lost and looking for a way back home. In worship one day I seen myself at the foot of the cross and he showed me Mary and told me that he wanted me to love him as she did, it is a huge goal but its one I try to do everyday.

Mary was not perfect, but her love for Jesus was pure and so deep. She followed him until she no longer could. She spread the good news and I want to also. Jesus is very real, and he loves each one of us. He is waiting on you to call on his name. I promise it is the one thing I have done in my life that I will never regret!

I am no longer a worthless mother, a drug addict and drug dealer. I am a child of GOD!!!

I am blessed coming in and going out. I am sanctified and he has given me the authority to speak to Satan and command him to flee! He has restored my family, healed my addiction, he has given me beauty for ashes!!!! Just as he promised! Everything the devil had stolen from me , he has restored! I can not emphasize enough on what a GOOD GOD he is!!!!