Once a Good Sinner

I am Kenneth Dave L. Cabanda. Growing up in a Christian family, I always see myself as a good sinner – I did not experience going wayward, have no vices, was always excelling, and have always been a faithful churchgoer. These credentials hampered me though from understanding the Gospel.

Because I grew up as an achiever and a fairly good boy, I did not really get to understand the depth of my sinfulness, so that there was no need to really consider about genuine salvation. I always knew that everyone “sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” but I unconsciously believed that I was an exemption. My self-righteousness is so much evident with how I relate with others – it makes me feel good to argue and debate and speak of my convictions in a very unloving way. I did not care then if I could hurt others and I was willing to start conflicts just to prove them wrong, and that I was right.

The Lord shattered my pride, however, in May of 2004. I attended a youth camp where a Missionary Pastor Barry Batters explained the Gospel very clearly. I have always understood the Good News before, that Jesus Christ came to earth to save sinners through His life, death on the Cross and His resurrection from the grave; but, I did not learn it the same way I learned it at that time. For the first time, the truth began to make all sense; the head knowledge became an experience and the Lord saved me. He opened my heart and mind so that I would respond in faith. That night, I knew the Lord has worked something in my heart. In tears, I have seen my sinfulness and how unworthy I was to be loved and forgiven by God. I received the free gift of eternal life that God has offered through His Son.

Since then, by God’s grace, the Lord has been faithful in teaching me the Gospel. There are many occasions that I still fail God, but He is faithful in continually working in my life. One of the very instrumental seasons of my relationship with Jesus was when I came to Cebu, Philippines and the Lord brought me to Living Word. I understood the Gospel deeply, I was discipled, and I was growing in my understanding of the implications of the Gospel in my daily life as well as in the ministry. Truly, the Gospel of Christ taught me and is continually teaching me now about humility and “to count others as always better than” myself.

God taught me that it was no longer about me using my ideas and convictions disrespectfully. Rather, it is now about honoring Christ by having the His mind, Who though Jesus was in the form of God, He did not count equality with God. Instead, He humbled Himself by taking the form of a servant, and His humility led Him to the Cross in order to save a proud man like me and to also continually teach me to become humble also. The old hotheaded person I was and the one who was easily giving in to useless arguments, was already dead. He changed me. Jesus changed my heart so that I would no longer speak with others in an unloving and proud way, but to relate with them in such a way to build them up in their faith or win them to the Lord. God’s grace is immense, indeed. He Who is faithful has led my heart to even respond to His call for the fulltime ministry, something which I know I would always never be worthy of doing. In 2012, I started working as an Evangelism Explosion Philippines Field Coordinator and it lasted for four years. I am now currently serving Him as a Pastor in Living Word Dumaguete City, where I can continue to disciple others and allow Jesus to use me in ministering to proud people like me, so that they may know that God’s Gospel is powerful enough to also change them. And all these experiences are for His glory.

God saved me and is saving me through the Gospel of Jesus, for His glory. To know Him is to also have the confidence that what He has started in me, He will be faithful to finish until Jesus comes again. To our Lord alone be all the honor and praises.