My walk with God

I was very depressed and thought my life would never get better. This was from a young age. We didn't have a happy household and my parents each had their personal issues that affected our lives. My mother especially was very unhappy with her life and we heard quite often how we ruined her life. She was unable to be a nurturing parent to us kids, and my father was battling alcoholism. There was a small church at the end of our road and I was drawn to attend, alone. I heard about God, and I wanted to learn more. During this time, I also began to experiment with alcohol. I knew early on that alcohol could do things for me that people couldn't and I began to drink while I was still in high school. I began plotting my escape from home, and I signed up for the service.

I felt I was out of control and running away from people that loved me. I ended up in Marine Corps boot camp and felt completely alone. I was very afraid I wasn't going to make it through the training and began to attend the one hour chapel on Sundays. I felt God speak to me through that chaplain and I heard what I needed to hear to spark my faith. My time in boot camp was a refining fire but God got me through that time and I did graduate, and I felt like a completely different person.

Jesus and God became very real to me and it was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and heart. I realize He was real and He loved me and I didn't have to feel this despair and pain the rest of my life.

I now know that my life has a purpose and I never need be afraid of anything ever again. I have peace and I have the assurance of eternal life. I have a real relationship with Jesus that gives me personal strength on a daily basis. I have been through some real 'fires' in my life but I knew Who walked me through those times and will continue to do so.

My first husband was diagnosed with fatal illness and died after experimental surgery...I had to take him off life support. I was 36 years old, had two teen-aged kids at home, and no family in the state. When he died, my faith was really put to the test. I just kept trust God and He walked me through that terrible time, one day at a time.

Every person questions their faith at some point, but for me, it was never a real question. Of course I have had moments my faith was weak...but God has been faithful to me, and I have been able to recover and know He is there, He is real, and He wants good for me. If I listen, I hear His voice in people around me...and at times when I am completely alone and spending time praying. Becoming a Christian doesn't mean nothing bad will ever happen to you again. In fact, more bad may happen...in order that God can work through you and you can be a blessing and a witness to others.