My very personal testimony!

Before I received external life I could say almost every negative selection I see would be me. I had anxiety, guilt, anger, emptiness, grief, stress, very low self esteem, at some point in my death bed, much disappointmentwithin myself, extremely insecure with myself that made me insecure with others, regrets, always felt too busy to turn to the Lord, feared everything in life, always felt alone, very bad habits, I only cared about myself, struggled with depression, felt like I had nothing good within life, always bitter, extremely afraid of regection.

I remember being a little girl and all of the struggles I went through. At a very young age of 11 Something happen by my biological fathers son, who is only exactly four days older than me, we have the same father so he is considered my half brother. Then I struggled within school because I never had the help at home. I was always bullied within school for not being pretty enough or not having the correct body parts that a "woman" should have. My brain started to lie on its own to protect me from anything. I couldn't tell the truth to anyone. Just recently, I was having leg pain for no reason. One day, I woke up paralyzed from the waist down, why? Well no one knows. I was in the hospital for 7 long days on very heavy medication. After those days I was sent to a rehab facility, I was the youngest there and the second youngest was 69. On my birthday, is when I learned to walk again but I still struggled I had a lot of pain but I could not mentally take being in that facility so I checked myself out. I just wanted to go back to work and see my kids so I went to the doctors but I was in so much pain that she admitted me and I was in the hospital for another week going down hill with no answers. Then I prayed to God "please just give me a diagnosis" that diagnosis was given that same day. The diagnosis "Lyme disease" I was given several medications I was taking 12 pills a day at the young age of 23. Then I finished them everything was okay for two months but now I'm here today struggling with leg pains and turns out it was never Lyme disease. Now it is a herniated disk and some distortion in my neck....well that's the diagnosis for this month. The point of this is I was sick I prayed to God he gave me the answers and I turned away from him when I was okay. I need him now more than ever and not for the answers to my health or mental issues or my past, I need him because he is the reason why I live. He is the reason why I take a breathe everyday. He is the reason I still am fighting. I won't give up on him ever again!

Then someone taught me that an enternal life is what I needed and always wanted but never knew how.

Now that I have enternal life I can be happy and never feel alone.

One thing I've gotten from my life and my past is God never gave up on me! He never turned his back and stopped me from breathing. He was there for me even when I did not know it.

The best part of all of this is when I die I will have the honor of coming face to face with the Lord and be honored to spend my living life with him as well as my life in heaven.