My Testimony to the World

my name is Reyna Clark, I am fourteen, go to the Brook Hill School, and I have lived in a Christan home almost my entire life. But that’s not where I want to start, I want to start at the very beginning. I was born on January 13, 2004, to my biological parents as Skylar. I wish I could remember more about my parents, but all I can remember is the abuse. The abuse that I got from my aunt, because my parents were never there. I remember that I always wanted to know where my parents where. All I can remember about my parents is my mom coming home at night and passing out on the couch, and my dad trying to kill me with his dogs. One day I was sitting in my bedroom, and I heard a knock at the door. After I saw that man standing at the door I erased everything from my mind. All I remember is different house, different person, same rejection. If you didn’t get what I just said, it was my sister and I were tossed into foster care. We were put into house that we had never been to and people that we had never seen. My sister and I were rejected until one day, this man came to one of our foster houses. I didn’t know why he was there, but I did like him he was nice. A few weeks later I was living with him and his wife. And a little while later I was adopted by them. The day I was adopted I changed my name from Skylar to Reyna. I want to skip about 8 years. I was baptized around 8 and I thought that I was a good Christian. But I was 13, and I hated my life. I thought that Christians were supposed to live perfect lives. But mine wasn’t turning out so well. I had this anger building up inside of me. I didn’t want to tell anyone. I was afraid of what they would say about me if I told them, or what they would think. The anger got worse over the years, and I was asking questions like “Why when my parents were given a choice over drugs and prostitution or their children they chose the drugs and prostitution.” And another one was “Why would a loving God we call Father send a child down onto the earth, if he knew they were going to be torn apart, thrown away and rejected. But at that point in my life everything was all about me. I cared about what others thought and that was because I only cared about myself. I didn’t care what God thought because he was horrible. I hated him and blamed him. I hated everyone and blamed everyone. Sometimes I thought what I did to make them not want me.

So, me a 14-year-old girl decided that I was going to end it all, I was going to kill myself. I hated walking around with a smile plastered on my face, and holding everything in. I didn’t want to be rejected again. So, one-night I did try to kill myself. But I couldn't do it I couldn’t finish the Job.

That summer I went to Costa Rica. I wasn’t ready for what I came back as. I don’t know what happened there, but I do know that I came back changed. God had answered my questions and I wasn’t angry anymore. I knew that God put me on this Earth for a reason. I don’t know what It is yet, but I do know that I am here for a reason. He took me out of a home where I could have gone down the wrong path. But he saved me from that. He wanted to show me that he was real and that he did love me.

The last thing I am going to end with is this. Those out there struggling with depression and those of you who aren't, and those of you who don’t know. Suicide should never be an option. You need someone to talk to, just like I did, and I still do. Because I was never tested for depression no one ever worried about those thoughts going through my head. I still struggle with those thoughts, I have the same feeling that I want to die. But then I bring it to God, and my counselor because I know that I can trust them. So, if you don’t want to talk to God, or you don’t have a counselor. Then go to your youth Pastor, your pastor.But even if you don’t want to talk to God it is the best thing that you can do for yourself, because God knows what is going on He just wants you to admit it and come to him. Because he loves you. But if you still struggle with talking to God, go to your pastor.

I tried to kill my self, but even through that God still loved me

I know that whatever I am Feeling inside, weather it is Anger, Greed, or anything, God still loves me.