My testimony

Before I received eternal life I was a very lost addict.

In my earlier 20s I had already lost hope. I’d been through so much before then. I already had two children. I mean since I was born to a unruly teenager, my life was a mess from the start. I was a good mom to my children because that was a very very fond quality of my heart after helping out support my younger brothers for part of their life. The devil took hold over me in my early 20s. I started working at a Gentleman’s Club in 2015 as a cocktail waitress. I became senior waitress from my work ethic. Months later, I was filling in rotations as the girls would be short staffed on stage. I was allowed to entertain VIP as the men very often requested me. They called me forbidden fruit. These guys showed me care of affection. I was without father growing up. I was separated from religion. I craved everything they gave me including the financial support as a single mom that gave me freedom. I was an important role. With confidence, I started working in an additional Gentleman’s club strictly for dancing to please the very long list of clientele I’d built up just waitressing. I had so much freedom. Fast forward to the trouble that brought a couple years down the road after dabbling in areas I promised myself I never would - I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and now a prostitute as working in public was too embarrassing for me anymore. In my darkest moments, I had a sense of belief. I surrounded myself with other that seemed to be so desperate for hope and I became the hopeful addict. I opened my home to my closest addict friends. I would help in as many ways I could, cooking, helping with laundry, be a listening ear, use my form of transportation and many other things but being surrounded as a group of addicts we constantly found ourselves scrounging for booze and drug money and up again all night (over and over and over again…). I hadn’t forgotten about my two children. I never did. I took care of my children and stayed sober enough while they were home. By this time I started sharing the custody with their fathers. So when I would be completely alone, it was like I’d never sleep. When they were home, I worked, mostly at the bar, getting drunk all day and then doing drugs to feel like I was sober still while being extremely intoxicated. Eventually I began going to another drug that was actually a downer and blacking out several days. I would wake up and my car was in the driveway but I didn’t know how I got home. Often i felt despair. I felt close to death several times and I know Jesus was right there with me. I know he was walking with me. I moved away for a while and was pretty sober. I started dabbling around with a guy a few months later and everything came back to the surface. (Addiction for me wasn’t just any kind of drug or alcohol, it was sex, candy, spending money, nicotine etc.) So I felt enough confidence to go out again and that December I went out with a girlfriend. All good intentions. But I couldn’t stop myself from drinking, or taking drugs I knew I shouldn’t have, or smoking. I was a smoker since I was eleven. That next morning.. I was found lost in the woods. Unaware of how I got there. I was slapped with a DUI that almost destroyed me. When I thought I was doing so much better compared to the mess I was in previously. I ran to a local Christian charity store that I knew of and asked for help when I was seconds away from suicide. Through some peer counseling, I regained my strength to move forward. God reminded me that I could not do this on my own.

I received eternal life after 6 months of going to church and studying the Bible.

Now that I have eternal life I no longer fear and I have a sense of responsibility. God humbled me. That’s all I could say. I started attending a church and I haven’t quit since. I witnessed God removing things from my life. I never intentionally quit one thing that I was heavily addicted to. I made the choice to start a vape and I made the conscious decision to drop that when I realized that God took cigarettes from me and that was a miracle so I needed to honor him and stop playing around. God has drawn out the light inside. All of the great qualities he gave me at birth are alive and well. God nurtures me and gives me the support that I need. I know that Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.

Being a saved Christian has led me to so many great circumstances to share the word. I am blessed beyond measure to interact with every soul that crosses my path. I am able to teach my children the way of the Bible and watching them grow first and foremost is my absolute proof from God of the power he has given me to change.

I trust that Jesus is my lord and he is my SAVIOR. Through him I should receive eternal life. I will repent for whatever convicts me. I do not fear. I walk in faith.