My testimony

Before I let Jesus into my heart I had worries and anxiety I was angery at myself so I took it out on myself physically and mentally I had low self-esteem I felt unlove and afraid I felt loney and wanted to just die thinking to myself that no one would care if I'm gone I felt so my greif and I just wanted it to end I have tried to overdose twice and I cute my arm with over two hundred cuts on it cause I felt no pain and I had no one to share it with I was scared and cried myself to sleep almost ever night and I wanted to run away but I know that if I ran I would be worse I had two siblings that I felt like at the time needed me and then there was my mom and my step dad that called me names that made me feel like I was nothing and I wanted to tell someone that I could talk to without feeling like I would be judged I felt hopeless I was nothing but a girl with a name

I remember sitting in a room in a house that I could never call a home staring at the wall knees to my chest wonder why me tears rolling down my cheak cold hopeless I felt lifeless I remember crying much that I could not breath gasping for air each cough that then was the first time I felt I was worthless and wanted to go to sleep and die a painless death

One day I went to a vacation Bible School and the were talking about how you receive a new life and be reborn they were talking about how we all had a purpose and God does things that make us feel like we're nothing but only to show us that he can turn around and how when we let let God into our hearts he will take all the pain away so that after service we were out side and me and my friend found found this guy and we told him we wanted to be saved and at first I was just doing it cause everyone else did it and told myself that no one could ever take away my pain but that moment we started praying I felt like someone was thier with me and it took me back to all those dark times in my life and it showed me that all that time I felt alone he was their and he was allways their and he never left and the day I received Jesus j was a new person not physically but sprittally

Now that I have received jesus everthings different I have a new family that loves me and God healed all my scares and changed myself inside and out he gave me hope and self confidence he gave me peace and made me new cause before him I was nothing and now I know I am something I am a CHILD OF GOD. And I will here no different I still think of my past and cry about and I don't ask why he still make me feel those bad memories cause I know that he want me to see the bad that I had in my life so I can see how much I have changed and how I could have never did it with the help of my Lord and savior the alpha Omega the beginning and the end and with him every thing is possible

One day I was in court and I it wasy first time and I heard all the horrible things that was said about me and all the things that my own mom even said and I was sad upset and I even started crybe in the most of it all I felt God and I herd him tell me do not fear for he is with me and will always be there and have been there watching me and protecting me I felt no fear after that

Now I know that he is always their and when I die it would be him to bring me home that it would truly be my time and I would be up in heaven with my father and stay with him forever cause I know he has a place for me and anyone who wants a spot up thier with him