My Personal Testimony

This is the beautiful story of the 'before and after' in my life. Before I received eternal life through Jesus Christ there was an overwhelming void in my life. So I did what a person who is feeling rejection, depression, boredom and emptiness does best: I set out to fill that void in the middle of my selfishness, looking for love, acceptance and fulfillment in all the wrong places: running, working out, achievements in the workplace, a new outfit, a new hairstyle, a new relationship. It was an "I am the god of my life and it all depends on me to find the answers" mentality. But everything I did to fill the void caused a bigger void and left me sad, always sad, and empty. I was never good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough or sweet enough or rich enough or thin enough or happy enough. Nothing I could do in my own power or resourcefulness produced the ultimate fulfillment or sense of purpose or lasting hope that I longed for.

I remember so clearly the tendency I had to run away from hard situations when all my attempts to 'fix' everything failed. That was my answer: run away, the grass will be greener on the other side. I will find the answers there, on the other side! I was getting ready to throw a marriage away, to run. Then a longtime friend contacted me and invited me to her bible study. I was not familiar with the bible and she suggested I begin by reading the book of 1 John, five simple chapters towards the end of the New Testament. I read it, and read it again . I couldn't get enough and read the entire New Testament right through from Matthew to Revelation in the course of only a few weeks. My eyes were opened to the truth. I was not my god, GOD was my God. In those pages I learned about His grace, my sin, His mercy. I learned that Christ died on a cross and rose from the dead to pay the penalty for my sin and to purchace eternal life for me.

I came to a trusting faith in Jesus Christ alone, a faith that would change my life here and now, and a faith that would most assuredly give me an eternal hope that would not disappoint me.

I did not run from my marriage.

Instead of always feeling like something was missing, I had a sense of fulfillment. In place of pain and feelings of rejection, I had God's unconditional love. Far from being bored, my life became a daily adventure with God and in my marriage. I now trust God. Quietly. Simply. When life again becomes difficult, as it often does, I turn to God for help. He is the only One bigger than life's problems and the only One with lasting answers.

I have received a full life now and even better, I know that I will have eternal life forever.