My Personal Testimony

I am glad I have eternal life because I know that I have the power of the Holy Spirit guiding me, I can stand against fear, and walk in freedom from sin.

Upon conversion, the first words out of my mouth were "I don't have to be afraid anymore!" All believers receive the promised gift of the full Holy Spirit. Even at eight-years-old, I understood, in a childlike way, the power that now lived in me. As a little girl I remember keeping personal ebenezers as I overcame fears of a puppet at church, of girl's opinions in middle school, and of imperfection. I hid my fears and insecurities for years under attempts at perfectionism. I feared people's opinions over God. As my audience of peers and parents disappeared after graduation, I looked to relationships as a place to pursue belong and be approved of. God so graciously guided and grew my relationship with Him over the years and March 2022 is a sweet testament to the freedom of the Lord. In a broken place, I realized on my dorm room floor that I had been trying to earn grace, love, and freedom from fear and other's opinions for years yet that was not the gospel I confessed belief in years prior. My formal theology and my functional theology were misaligned. I remember feeling like I should have known better as a believer, yet God met me with compassion and forgiveness as He drew me one step closer to Him. I cried out to the Lord unsure where to start untangling my misaligned belief system. Over time, it became obvious how much one small misconception can cause such instability, confusion, and brokenness. However, the Lord delights in redeeming our brokenness. That night I cried out to the Lord for the wisdom to heal and restore what I had no clue how to. I began to recognize how many of my choices were rooted in fear. Fear of messing up. Fear of imperfection. Fear of unattainable expectations. Fear of the unknown. Fear of surrender. There was something eight-year-old me understood so well. The power of the Holy Spirit means I do not have to fear!

The same Spirit that rose Jesus from the grave is the promise to every believer. My story is evidence that the Lord not only works at conversion and ensuring eternal life, but also every step along the way as we finish this race here on Earth. I do not have to be afraid anymore! I can rest secure that Jesus meant it when on the cross He said, "It is finished." Jesus has paid my debt; therefore, I can live without fear because He guides me each step of the way with wisdom and grace.