My Personal Testimony

I'm glad I have a relationship with Jesus because it gives me the peace that I need to overcome my struggles with anxiety, depression, and the weight of life.

I gave my life to Christ when I was very young. I grew up in church and was there every Sunday. Sunday school, bible drills, Wednesday night fellowship - This was my life. My entire life was church. All throughout my childhood and even through high school I never questioned or challenged anything that I was told about God. I never even wondered if there was something else. It wasn’t until I went to college, got away from my parents, and for the first time went to church at a place where my dad wasn't the minister of music that I started to really think about whether or not I truly believed for myself. Around the same time is when I began my battle with anxiety and depression. It came on like a wave. First in the form of worrying about my health, or just feeling blue for a week or two. But, over time it got much worse. Sometimes it would feel crippling. It often felt like a fog that took over my whole life. Because I was a “good Christian boy,” I would put on a happy face and pretend that everything was alright, but behind closed doors I was slowly losing my faith, starting to question everything, and waking up, more often than not, thinking that it would be better to be dead. Through a long process of leaning on spiritual mentors, having long “explicit” talks with God, and being honest and open with my struggles, I have have learned that Jesus is strong enough to deal with what I see as impossible to handle. I have learned that walking with God is truly a relationship and a journey. Every trial or problem that we face in our life is an opportunity to lean on Jesus, and it is our choice to lean on our own understanding or trust that Jesus is with us. Salvation happens in a moment - the moment when we choose to hand over our life and believe - but sanctification and understanding the true character of Jesus is a lifelong process that has ups and downs. I thank God that even in the midst of my doubt, my struggles, my darkest depression, Jesus has been there with a peace that surpasses my understanding. That he understands what it is like to feel pain and to struggle. In my darkest moments, the only thing that has given me what I need to keep going is my relationship with Jesus. My life verse sense this all started is found in Philippians 4 where Paul writes, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I can say that in all honesty - I have found this to be true.

For me, eternal life is the promise that one day my mental pain will be gone. That every tear, every worry, every lie that I tell myself will be taken away in an instant because of what Jesus did on the cross.