My God's Story

My life is full of experiences that anyone could easily give up on and end it in their own terms and I'm almost one of those people. But because of God's mercy and protection I am still experiencing His great and undescribable love towards me and it gives me hope unto eternity.

I grew up in a partially broken Christian home. I'm second to the eldest among six siblings. Partially broken Christian home means, one of my parents is an Unbeliever - my Father, although they're still together legally.  My Mom made sure when we were younger (my older brother and myself) that we consistently attend Church activities and services. Up until now, she still does with my younger siblings. She always make sure to remind everyone of us that Sunday must be Lord's day, to the point that sometimes we're annoyed and irritated the way she inculcated to us that this is something that must not be forgotten for the rest of our lives. In which, I have only appreciated when I became old enough to understand her reasons behind it - that life without God is meaningless and apart from Him we can do nothing. Therefore, I can't tell any exact date when I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior but I made up my mind to have my baptism day as my spiritual birthday (Oct. 15, 2000) because my spiritual journey started when I was too young (before I even went to grade school) and so many instances that I kept on accepting God every time I attended gospel services. And with my life's experiences, I'm certain that I have Him in my life. Let me share some of those in these 3 points outline: God's Protection, God's Provision and God's Promises. + God's Protection Growing up in a Christian Church, I found the enjoyment in seeing and having fellowship with the brethren. It felt like the people in our local Church became an instant extended family, brothers and sisters from another parents, additional mother and father figures were not hard to find. However, going to Church when we're younger was a constant struggle as my Father became the villain in our walk to grow in our faith story. There were occasions that he won't allow us to go and attend Sunday Schools and Children Church activities. Up to some points that we had to  run away from him to be able to sing in the Children's choir and learn stuff in VBS. My Father is an alcoholic and known drunkard in our neighborhood when we're growing up. He used to beat up my Mom and us - with my older brother even without any reason at all when he was drunk. My brother and I experienced to be hanged naked on a Sampaloc tree full of ants inside a sack of rice and to kneel down on spread out rock salt and sometimes monggo beans. To be shouted at with various profanities and to be scolded numerous times while doing whatever and while eating was not an exemption. We were physically, emotionally and psychologically abused when I was a child and even spiritually we were restricted and had limitations to learn outside Catholicism. That it always hunts me down through my nightmares the way we were treated by my Father when he's drunk.  Because of that I came to a point when I was a child that I wanted to be filthy rich to own all the liquor and cigarette companies so that I can close them out. But little did I know as I grow older that it was just literally a dream. This is also mainly the reason why I grew up not having any vices at all especially drinking and smoking as I developed the hatred with these since I was a kid. This hatred was instill inside of me to my Father that I grew up emotionally distant from him that I treated him as the exact opposite of who I wanted to be when I grow up contrary to what most kids do to have their Fathers as their role model. My childhood was full of fear and traumas. Sometimes, these fears can get me easily triggered when I hear someone shouting and cursing - that's why it became one of my hated pet peeves when a person curses and shouts all the time even if it's just their expression or way of talking normally. Ironically, I'm currently working in a BPO industry wherein getting shouted at and cussing is something I regularly hear and receive everyday over the phone.  In spite of all these experiences, God was always there to protect me from all those belt whips, spanking and dangerous hits with whatever my Father could grab on with even with his bare hands and yes, knives were some of those.  I can't remember how many times I wished to just die and almost killed myself without anyone knowing when I was a little innocent kid.  There were times I used to cut my hand pulses and tie my neck with an old rugged nylon rope and hang myself in our old toilet and locked up. For some reason something had always interrupted those moments. It's either the rope would have had given up or someone had come and needs to use the toilet and or I was distracted by something else that I had forgotten to do it.  Not only because of these experiences and treatment from my Father but also with other struggles in life coming from a poorer than a mouse family. I believe that those interventions were God's way to build me up and that He has more in store for me. I overcome that phase of my life and by God's protection and mighty hand is the only reason why I'm still alive to write this story and personal testimony.   + God's Provision The common Filipino phrase "Isang kahig, isang tuka" was literally how we survive growing up.  We experienced to live in a house with walls made of rice sacks. You can literally see sunlights on pin holes on our roof, some were thumb size holes that when rainy season comes, organic water falls were everywhere inside our house. There were also times that typhoons had removed those holes but that goes along with our entire roof flown to our neighbors. According to my Grandparents, my Father was the black sheep of their family when he was younger that even though they can send him to school, he opted to do bad boy stuff and didn't finish his studies. Because of such negligence with his education, it's expected that it led him to end up with jobs that were not enough to support us financially. At a very young age (around grade-school - 9 years old), I had to do whatever kind of work and sidelines that would let me earn some income to help me buy my notebooks and support my own education. I've tried collecting and selling stuff to junk shops, selling Pinoy kakanins to school, I've experienced to be a garbage collector helper, cleaner, construction worker, carpenter assistant, gasoline boy, fetching water from old-style pump for our neighbors, farm assistant feeding cows, mowing lawns and gardens. When I got a little older I've been a grade-school subject tutor, tried selling computer units and brownies during college days and the list goes on and on that I can't remember anymore some of those work. I have no regret with those experiences because of those work and literally "dirty" jobs as it teaches me to be persistent, resilient and hopeful in life. And that hope is because of what God did every time we run out of ways to feed ourselves. He's always there to literally provide food on our table. Numerous times that we don't know where to get our next meal and God will always show ways how and people that he would use to bless and help us.     I remember when I was a kid that there were times when we don't have anything to eat as there were numerous instances that my parents don't have any source of income. All we have for sure was a jag of water filled from a deep well nearby our house.   Then all of a sudden someone will come to our house with something - either some food or money for advance payment for work for us to do.    We have this inside joke in our family that my youngest sister used to say when we run out of food to eat when we were younger and it goes like "Sa tubig lang nabubusog." Which literally means, we only get full out of water. In short, we're so much used to water diet.   Sometimes it's hard to comprehend how God uses people and situations to work everything for our good.  Rom.8:28 Another experience when I was a teen-ager to early 20s, that I really wanted to go to Church to attend an activity or service but I don't even have a single coin that's why I prayed to God about it. Then later on I stumbled and found a money enough to bring me to Church.    Similar scenario when I was still studying that I also had no money to go to School and I told myself that I'll just skip the day until I find another side-hassle but at the same time I also prayed silently to God about it. Then God used our neighbor to lend me some money but I can't remember if I had to work for it or my Mom.  These similar experiences happened numerous times in my life that sometimes it's no longer a surprise when God answered our prayers and provides our need. It formed our trust to God as He molded us that way.  There's always an expectation that if it's His will then He'll provide, if not then He'll show us why then we'll learn and move on. It's not a surprising miracle kind of thing but more on of a "ask for it and it shall be given" kind of relationship. Jehovah jireh. After I graduated high school, I had to stop schooling and I need to work already as I had no other choice that time. My batch-mates' problems were about which Schools or Colleges they will continue their studies or what courses they will take while mine was how would I be able to find a job right away where at least I can get a better income than my sidelines to somehow help my family's finances. So it led me to find different jobs that somehow gave me ample earnings to support myself and gave a little to my family. I worked as a factory worker in different companies for several years.  Year 2005 when I heard a news that a known State University (PUP) will establish their extension branch within our town - Sta. Maria, Bulacan. I prayed to God to have the chance to continue my studies in College and to be able to pass the entrance exam. State U's are known to have limitations in accepting students especially PUP which is mostly funded by the government. I was not in school for 6 years after I graduated high school and yet I took the courage to take the University's entrance exam without any formal review. What I had that time was only a little reading, glimpses and self-study using old second hand over books from what we collected from garbage collection within our small neighborhood, most importantly my faith and trust that God would give me the wisdom to pass the exam and so I did.   I understand that my Parents wouldn't be able to support me financially but God our Father never failed to give me ways to survive that phase of my life.  Those four years was a constant battle between the enemy's distractions and discouragements and God's leading and provisions. God used different people in and out of our Christian community - brethren and leaders in the Church, our neighbors, some relatives and friends and even some local politicians through my scholarships. My College life was full of God's miracles through His provisions in all aspects. Otherwise, that important part of my education wouldn't be possible if I only relied on myself.  I'm currently working in the BPO/Business Process Outsourcing a.k.a Call Centre industry for almost 14 years now. Looking back on what we used to have, miracle is an understatement. Our life here on earth would still be a continous reliance on God in all its aspects. Hence, this leads this testimony on my last point. + God's Promises I had a comfortable position in my previous company as a Quality Analyst in a known BPO Company in the Philippines for 7 years. However, when the Pandemic came it shakens my faith and causes me to doubt my future in terms of how would I be able to support my current and future family. After praying for 2 years, God leads me to this opportunity to work in Malaysia in the same industry but God wants to teach me how to humble myself by starting again in an entry level post. It's frankly more beneficial financially but God wants me to realize that I have to remove my egocentric self and move out of my comfort zone. Without knowing anyone in a foreign country and my first time to work abroad, I courageously took a leap of faith that God would lead me not only on a better place but also in a path where He can fulfill His great plans in my life and widen my horizon. A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps - Proverbs 16:9 NKJV

I used to question God on why I need to experience those things and why my family had to go through those hardships in life, but later on I came to realize that I wouldn't be who and where I am today if were not for those vital chapters that I've been through. My life is still not perfect, every now and then sin comes crawling in and out but because of God's grace and forgiveness I am assured of God's love and eternal life. I am grateful on how my Mom trained us in the way we should go when we were younger and now that I'm old for sure that I'll never want to be depart from it. I don't want to be a Christian that only grew in Church but never grew in Christ. Hence, I keep on searching in knowing how to grow more my faith and love for Him. I am Angelito Arcangel. Aa. a sinner only saved by God's grace through my faith in Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior to Him all glory and praise.