Michele Stafford's Testimony

Before I received eternal life, I dealt with sexual addiction, anger, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, shame and a lot of disappointment.

When I think about it, my life was like Mary Magdalene's life. I had one husband and was divorced. And after my divorce, I began seeking out men to fill the void that I felt. I didn't understand why most women I knew seemed to always attract men and keep them, but I didn't. I began to wonder what was wrong with me. So, I began looking for men on dating sites. Thinking that what I wanted was to find a man to spend the rest of my life with, but in reality, I was just looking for a way to satisfy my sexual needs in anyway I could. I partied hard and did things that I would have never done if I had been sober. I felt disappointed, depressed, anxious, angry, ashamed, resentment, discontented and empty. There was a void that I couldn't seem to fill no matter what I tried. The more I tried, the more it backfired on me and the more desperate I felt to find the next guy. Out of all of this mess, I had three beautiful children with one of these guys I met, which I do not regret. But that relationship didn't last. Now, not only was I dealing with sexual addiction, now I was dealing with being a single mom as well, which added guilt and worry into the mix causing me to begin to hate myself, hate who I was and what I had become. I even tried going to church but struggled going because I felt unworthy to set foot there. That how could God want me? I felt dirty. So, I bottled everything up and locked it up deep down inside my heart never to bring it back to the surface or so I thought. What I didn't realize was that God was with me through all of this, working in the background because he had a plan for me. Even when I felt to ashamed to continue going to church, God was still there calling me even though I hadn't realized it yet. Eventually, during all of what I was going through, the feeling of God calling me began to become stronger, but I kept trying to ignore it because I felt ashamed of the things I had done. How could God find me worthy, I asked myself? Plus, I was struggling with giving up my sexual addiction and the feeling that I needed to be in a relationship to feel worthy. It wasn't until I went walking one evening and started praying regarding the man I was seeing that everything I had kept bottled up inside began to come to the surface. I got to my car and asked God why was he bringing this up to me when I wasn't praying about that? I began to cry on the drive home because I knew I needed Jesus. I knew he was the only way I could be free from this life of sin. So, when I got home, I went to my room and got down on my knees and called out to Jesus to forgive me and to come into my heart. I told him I didn't want to feel all this hurt and rejection anymore. I told him I hated who I was and who I had become and that I didn't want to be that way anymore. I asked for him to take it all away. I said, God, please take this because I don't want to feel this way anymore! I forgave everyone who had hurt me and made me feel rejected. I forgave myself. Brothers and sisters I want you to know that while I was praying God took everything, all my burdens, my sins, everything I had dealt with away. I felt like someone had scrubbed me clean from the inside. I felt so clean like never before. I was in awe of how the weight of my sins was lifted off my shoulders. I praised God because even though I wasn't worthy, he said I was worthy because of his unconditional love. He freed me from my past and my sexual addiction. It was amazing!! My life has changed so much because of Jesus being in my life! Because of God's forgiveness, I now have a second chance on life, joy, hope, patience and love towards myself and others. I have the assurance of heaven and a sense of purpose now. I desire to know and spend more time in God's presence! What Jesus did for me, he can do for you! He can take everything you are experiencing or dealing with away just like he did for me. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son to die on the cross for our sins! Jesus died for you and me! How amazing is that!? All we have to do is except him into our hearts and ask for his forgiveness of our sins.

Now that I have received eternal life through accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I have begun to see, act and speak differently. I have been transformed.

Since I have now received eternal life, I no longer seek sexual validation from men.

Because I have given my life to Christ I no longer seek or feel the need to be in any kind of relationship with a man and I am at peace with that.

Because of the eternal life that Jesus offers me, I know that I will see God in heaven and I cannot wait to spend eternity there with him!