Lost Girl in College

I am so thankful that GOD has given me eternal life because I know that HE will always be with me on earth, and then I will be with HIM in Heaven; I don't ever have to worry about leaving HIS Glorious Presence.

I had been raised in the church, so going to college for me was a chance to escape and basically run away from JESUS. I started partying every Friday and Saturday for nearly two years straight, drinking heavily, experimenting with drugs, and entertaining every suitor that came my way. I was a very shy girl and I thought that the alcohol and drugs made me a funner person to be around, and more attractive to men. GOD had been keeping me hidden and I didn't understand that concept at the time, and why no one wanted to pursue me. This became a source of insecurity for me, so I welcomed and heavily sought after attention from men. I did whatever it took to get more "looks" from the guys and based my value on how many men asked for my number in any one night. I began to dress scantier, wear more makeup, and behave seductively. The men that I was attracting from these actions were far from what I actually wanted on the inside, and these men just tore me down even more. I was a virgin when I went to college, but my first experience ended with an STD, and another ended up being an attempted rape. I was molested at a club, and I escaped danger on multiple occasions from shootings, drunk driving, and plenty of other mayhem while trying to "find myself" at college. I ended a very toxic relationship right before graduating from college that included cheating and emotional abuse. I ended up moving altogether from that city shortly after my graduation and going back to my hometown. I was so broken after that relationship, and my college experience altogether. I came back to The LORD in tears, asking HIM to forgive me for abandoning HIM. For trying to go out and do my own thing, then asking HIM to help me when I got into dangerous situations, but ultimately going right back to it. I'm so glad that The LORD kept me during that time when I was so immature and tried to "run away from home". I began to listen to sermons online because going to church once a week wasn't enough for my spirit man. I listened to a woman whose story was similar to mine and she spoke with such zeal and passion that it all finally "clicked" for me and I became so enamored with GOD and I decided that I had to do this for real. No more being a lukewarm Christian, no more running, but giving my life fully and completely to GOD. Letting HIM fill ALL of my voids instead of looking for it in all these worldly things, realizing my identity is in HIM, letting HIM take control of every area of my life, and allowing HIM to lead me every single day because I obviously didn't know what I was doing when I tried to take control. I realize that I need GOD more than anything, everything comes from HIM- and as we serve HIM and focus on HIM he gives us what we need, when we need it.

The LORD is so good. HE is constantly watching over us, protecting us from danger seen and unseen. Even though I put myself in many compromising situations, HE still protected me each time. I know that The Holy Spirit lives inside of me- guiding, leading, and directing me day in and day out. And that same Holy Spirit that raised JESUS from the dead, lives in us and will bring us to The Father one day.