Life with Jesus after a major tragedy

Before my true relationship with Jesus I was outwardly "fine", but on the inside I was so miserable, grief stricken, and anxious.

On the outside I was just another person living her life day to day the best she knew how. No one could assume how unhappy, how miserable, sad, and scared I really was on the inside. My mother was brutally murdered years ago. The circumstances around her death involved my younger brother being so badly injured he ended up in a coma and I, I was physically and sexually assaulted. After that I carried so much pain and grief but of course if you'd ask the answer would always be, "I'm fine." I wasn't "fine" for many years.

Then one day as I had a break down in my bathroom the Lord spoke to me and said enough was enough. I decided to really go to church instead of my famous words "I'm searching for a church." It was a church I had visited with a friend, one of the 2 that I visited when I was "searching." I had enough of myself living how I wanted and being so miserable even during happy occasions. I decided to give my life to Jesus leaving the agony of the past behind.

After giving my life to Jesus, I can breath because He removed the grief that smothered me. Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Jesus set me free from my past. I can be in the moment because the moments He grants me are truly a gift and no longer a burden to me. I have true joy. My pain is used for His glory and not for my personal destruction. Before Christ my heart was so heavy but now I'm feeling much lighter. He mended my broken heart and continues to lift my spirits on a daily basis, sometimes minute by minute. I no longer fear life repeating the tragedy that kept my mind captive for so long because I know He's in control. He alone saw me from the inside and healed me inside out. Now when my children call me "mommy" it doesn't bring me back to my past pain. Jesus set me free from the prison my mind was in.

Because of Jesus I am able to really live, love and laugh. I am able to have life in abundance and the best part is when I die not only will I be reunited with my mother who followed and served Him as well but I get to be with Him, my Rock, my Healer, my Deliverer, My God, Jesus.