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“”HE STILL LOVES ME!!” My testimony began long before the events of that night in April 2018. I pray that not only does my testimony inspires you, but well bring glory to His name. HE Still Loves ME! Hebrews 12:6-11 (NKJV) 6 ““For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” 7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” I hope and pray that this will inspire many of you. But I also know that others will not be, because you chose not to have an ear to hear. Just know that God loves us all and He will do everything to call you back to Him, but make yourself accessible to His forgiveness. My biggest challenge was to be ok to forgive myself. God is all knowing, so there is nothing that you or I have done that has surprised Him. So here I go. “My first wife, of 17 years, and I were devoted Christians in the Calvary Chapel system in Southern California for 15 of those years. As time went on, I was called to be the overseer of the graphics ministry, men's bible study, I served in the sound ministry, new believer's, marriage ministries, and I even sung in our choir. I'm not telling you this to get a pat on the back, I'm telling you so you know that there was nothing that I wasn't willing to do for our Lord and Savior. Lord knows I need to build my relationship back up with Him first. I let His and my relationship fall by the wayside 12 years ago. And that is where I wish to begin my story. Back in 2006, my first wife Brenda and I were starting to struggle as a couple. Knowing what I knew, I stepped down from all the ministries I was involved with, switched churches, so I/we could work on our marriage. As it happens in everywhere you go, even in the body of Christ, the talk began. But it was different this time around, I took my eyes off of Him and started to listen to man... my heart had started to become hard. Even though I was being who I was, He never stopped loving me, and continued to call me back to Him, but I chose to ignore Him... so I gave Him no choice but to have Him prove Himself to me. Late summer of 2007, my first wife and I decided to call it quits on our marriage. Not 5 minutes later after driving away (heading for North Carolina, where the majority of my family relocated) I was pinned up between a semi-truck and brick wall. God allowed me to survive because He loved me. January 2009, my divorce was finalized, I met a another lady, moved back to San Diego, CA, working my internet bases business and going back to college, online, full time. After 6 months, I realized I still wasn't happy. But God still loved me. After those 6 months, I didn't know what I was doing, I started my way to Colorado, where my older sister had moved 5 years before with her family. The literal night I was heading out of town, coming to Colorado, my best friend from high school, whom I haven't spoken to in 15 years, happens to reach out to me. After speaking to him, we found out that I would be passing right by his house that evening on my way to my new adventure. So for the purpose of catching up, and saving some money, I went to his house for the evening and had the plan to go on my way the following morning. Well that evening of catching up turned into 7 months of drinking and becoming a man whore. And yet, He still loved me. The last month I was there, I believe it was April of 2010, which I spent there with my friend; the more I tried to make myself happy, the more I became empty inside. The only good thing that came out of that month is that I met Michelle (later to become my current wife). The month came and gone and I knew I had to leave California and finish my trip to Colorado. I packed all my larger stuff at Michelle's best friends ranch and packed what I could fit on my jeep. Even though it was only a month, there was something special about Michelle and for the next 6 months we didn't miss a day talking on the phone with each other. My heart longed for her, but He still loved me. During one of those phone conversation in late Autumn of 2010, a conversation arose where I teased her, if she kept it up, I would have to go out there pack up her house, her and her son and move them to Colorado... then she called me on it. Literally, not even a week later, I was driving home from a long day/evening at work. Part of my route would take me through the back roads in the countryside of Elizabeth, CO. unpaved and many loopy-loop roads. As I crossed over one of these roads, there was a herd of 40 deer in the middle of it and I didn't see them until it was too late. I ended up killing 2 deer and hurting 2 very badly. I rolled my jeep in a ditch landing upside down. Outside of a couple of bruises and scrapes, I came out OK. I quickly learned that jeeps are far more valuable here in Colorado than they are in North Carolina. I bought my jeep in North Carolina for $9000.00, and a week later after the accident, my insurance company settled with me by giving me a check for $14000.00. Not only did I have the money to buy a new used car, but also I had the money to go get Michelle and her son. Mitchell. I was sore, but He still loved me. December 28, 2011, Michelle and I got married... what a beautiful day it was and continues to be. Then just after Christmas of 2012, it happened. My family and I were running around, doing our monthly household shopping. We were at a stop light waiting, when all of sudden we were rear ended by a cement truck. My family was transported to the local hospital, I turned out to be the most severely injured. My L3-L4, L4-L5 disks were bulging and L5-S1 was completely dislodged from my spin. Surgery soon followed along with 7 months of rehab. Once I was released to go back to work, I found out that I was not able to stay standing for my full 8-hour shift... I had to leave my job that I had fallen in love with. I was feeling broken, but He still loved me. In the autumn of 2014, I became very sick, I had developed a virus in my body that after 5 months and numerous rounds of antibiotic medication, the virus manifested into a bacteria that attacked the Aortic valve of my heart. I was rushed to the hospital, many tests were run, and the ER doctor determined that I had congestive heart failure. Once evaluated, I was informed had I not come in I would have died in four days. You would think by this time, I would have listened to Him calling me back home... but as it was, I continued to turn my back on Him. I just felt I had done so much wrong that I was beyond His mercy and grace. Feeling defeated at that time, but He still loved me. It is now the summer of 2016, my wife and I had bought a house in Pueblo. I was commuting back and forth from the north side of Colorado Springs for work. August 18, 2016, after getting off work, I drove onto the highway to make my way home. All the cars came to a controlled stop, due to construction, except for a young man who was behind me. He was texting and not paying any attention... he rear-ended me, I was going 0 miles per hour and he was going 65 miles per hour. Due to the accident in 2012, my entire back calcified and I have stenosis in my neck. When I was rear-ended my back broke in two spots, T8 and T11. T8 was the more severe of the two; it broke leaving only 1/8-in until it would have hit my spinal cord. More months of rehab and more months of me turning my back on Him, but yet, He still loved me. Friday night, April 6, 2018, I had just gotten home from work. I was carrying a bag of birdseed into our garage, when it happened. I stepped on some ice; my face met our door jam and kept on going. Half way down I didn’t feel any pain; my spine had impinged upon my spinal cord, since there is no spinal fluid flowing in my neck due to the stenosis. I could not feel anything from my neck down. I was a quadriplegic. Finally, after all this time, even with all that was going on around me in the trauma room, I was able to find a quiet place for my mind and ask God for His Forgiveness. I was willing to suffer what ever He thought fit for my body, but please give me the heart I once I had for Him. Feel numb, HE STILL LOVES ME! After 6 hours of lying there motionless, one of the nurses told me to do that again. She knew I didn’t know what she was talking about. I was lying down just so I can barely see my toes. She told me to wiggle the toes on my left foot. After a few minutes, I was able to wiggle them. Shortly after that, I was able to wiggle the toes on my right foot. Around 15 minutes, I was able to wiggle the fingers on my left hand. It still took nearly 36 hours to have any movement in my right hand/arm, but it’s getting there. The neurosurgeon has decided to have me go through rehab to strengthen my body to prepare it, for a surgery to correct the stenosis. Hopefully if this ever happens again I will be safe from greater injury. But my surgeon did state to me, he has been doing this a very long time now, and never in his entire profession has someone come in being a quadriplegic and been able to move like I have. He stated that it was a miracle, and never to forget it. Will I ever be 100% physically again, probably not, but that doesn’t matter. Yes, I have a very long road ahead of me, but one I am willing to take... as long as He continues to Love Me.” The date for my surgery was set, June 15, 2018. It is true that my surgery has not gone as planned and hoped, I was getting no electrical signal to me muscles on my right side of my body; but that does not really matter to me. What matters is my heart, mind, and soul would be one that wanted to service My Lord, Savior and Friend, Jesus Christ. He continues to Love Me, and I Love Him. So, you would think this is where me story ended, but God had other plans for me. Ephesians 1:9-11 (NKJV) 9 “having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth-in Him. 11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will,” Now, if you recall, I stated, “While I was in the trauma room, I was able to find a quiet place for my mind and ask God for His Forgiveness. I was willing to suffer what ever He thought fit for my body, but please give me the heart I once I had for Him.” The heart I spoke about was like the heart that Paul had, as he was imprisoned. May I just say, be careful for want you ask for… God just might give it to you. Romans 12:1 (NKJV) “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” It was Sunday, July 1, 2018; not even two complete days after I was release for the hospital, around 5:30 AM. Apparently, I got out of bed, stumbled across my bedroom, fell, and nearly crashed through my bedroom door. Michelle said I was trying to say something, but nothing but a lot of mumbling came out. She thought I had a stroke, she in turn called 9-1-1, and back to the ER I went to. After running some tests, the trauma team noted my blood pressure had dropped to 60/30 and I have sepsis (a very bad form of internal infection). Every doctor was surprised that I was not died. Blood Culture was taken to see where the sepsis is coming from, but that could take 24, 36, or even 48 hours, before they received the results they need to attack this sepsis head on. So meantime, they have been giving me antibiotics, which cover a wide range of infections, as well as more medicine to raise my blood pressure... talk about feeling like I was running in the middle of a marathon. I’ve been sweating so much and it felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. So by this time, most of you probably would be asking yourself, “Why does that keep happening to me?” I assure you that had not been the case at all, once I’ve been about to think clearly. All that has been in my mind is, Philippians 1:21 (NKJV) “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain”. I was preparing myself and ready to meet my Maker, and that is all I was focusing on... Until. Before I go now, I just wanted to say, I do NOT have any death wish... when God is done with me, then He is done with me... I have no plans in forcing His time line any faster. As a matter of fact, I’m excited to be used by Him, at any capacity that will bring Glory to His Most High Name. So back to my story, I view this as a win, win situation on my part, either I was going to sitting at my Lords feet or He was going to heal me so I could do His work. He still Loving Me, and I Love Him. My mom and sister, who live in North Carolina, have flown out and to see me that evening. My Papa, who wanted to make the trip, is not able too... BUT, and this is HUGE! My older sister told me, that my Papa loves me so much, that he is going PRAY for me. Let me put it this way, as long as I have known this man, he has NEVER prayed. Talk about one of those unspoken desires that I lay at His feet, knowing He will do what is best. I know God has been working on my Papa’s heart and everything is going to all right. So do I regret the things that I’m going through, not at all? It has been so worth it, hearing what I heard about my Papa... and it all steams of me accepting His invite to eternal salvation and building that relationship between He and I. What a wonderful and Mighty God I serve and I call my friend, ABBA, my Papa (my main one). Because He Loves me and I Love Him. Needless to say, the hospital team found the sores of the sepsis; it was a kidney stone, a huge kidney stone, which in turn meant I needed another surgery to remove it. The fevers finally broke and there were no more sweats. Because of my neck surgery, they had me on steroids, to help with the swelling of my spinal cord. When they removed the steroid medicines, in my case, it caused my blood pressure to drop. We, as believers, know better. This had to happen, because God Loves my Papa as well..

2 Timothy 3:1 (NKJV) “Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run swiftly and be glorified, just as it is with you,” Please keep my wife and myself in your prayers, as we are called to share His Love with everyone, and that they may have an ear to hear.