Gods overwhelming Peace

I was in a dark place of depression which led to addictions, self harm and many other evil things the devil had in store for me.

I remember laying on my bed with blood dripping from my arms and legs, the room was closing in, i could smell the scent of blood and all i can remember is a feeling of defeat. i didn’t wanna die i just wanted to be out of emotional pain. Even though in that moment i felt so alone and angry, hating God because i thought it was all his fault, little did i know looking back i can see God was right there by my side, i wouldn’t be standing here if he didn’t have mercy on me that night, his hand was over me my mission wasnt over it had only begun.

My mom sat me down one night, only a few months ago and i was 16, she told me if i keep going down the path i was walking down i would end up dead, i needed to hear those words from my own mother even though it was hard to hear i need it to be brung to the surface. After i went to my room looking up at the ceiling praying hoping he would hear my call, and in an instant i felt the presence of the holy spirit wash over me, tears ran down my face knowing God was by my side.

Now that i received Jesus i no longer follow the world, i no longer despise my brother for what happened, Jesus helped me forgive him and find my love for God agian

Even when i found God i still struggled with self harm and other addictions, i remember one night i has Cut my arm and it got infected, i was taking pills and drugs at the time so that definitely didn’t help my body fight The infection at all, i remember having to go to the hospital at midnight and i was scared at first but i prayed for peace and God washed me with his beautiful peace that night. i felt so calm and God made it very know to me that i may die but i was far from scared i was very calm, i remember sitting in the hospital waiting room and my hearing went doll and i looked up at my aunt and i said “aunt sis i think i’m dying” and i had tears running down my face but i wasn’t scared i was actually embracing her n my sister having all of our memories flood in, God was with me that night, i have never felt more peace in my life then i did that night because i knew where i was going and i knew i would see them all agian if God decided to take me. that night was the last night i self harmed, God has freed me from that addiction and i now stand clean to this day! Praise The Lord!

When God decides my mission on earth is over i know and i’m excited to go to heaven but until then i’ll keep spreading his word and growing in his word! remember every christian still struggles with addictions but God is so good to have mercy on us and still love us in those times! Get up and keep trying because i promise you will get far in your walk with God.