Gods not finished

I am held by the Lord in His comfort and in His peace.

When I was 15 to 16 years old, I was fear filled person. I covered this fear and anxiety behind a mask of fake smiles and fake laughs. I was still going to church every Sunday and Wednesday. But while I looked happy and confident, I was a liar; the reality was that I was stressed, angry, sad, anxious, overwhelmed, and uncomfortable in my own body and in my mind. I told everyone I was fine, or good, or just tired, but I would go home, and I would be too terrified to go to sleep, because when I was in my bed, it was just me and my deceptive mind. At least that is how I saw it. Even though I felt like I was alone in my struggle, little did I know God was with me the entire time, waiting for me to turn into His embrace. Like the Prodigal (Lost) Son returning home in Luke 15, I needed to run back to the Father. Now, God has used these trials I went through in my teens to reach a whole other group of people. I have been able to speak to young girls about mental health and the Gospel together. I have been able to pray over people and pray peace over them, and understand, to a certain extent, how important this peace is. And praise Jesus, because the Holy Spirit is not done yet. I will continue to let God work through me in whatever He needs.

While I still struggle with anxiety and depression, I now have the peace of the Lord to fill me. Now, I pray, I pray when I can't quiet my brain, and even when I'm doing great.