God's plan for my addiction

Before I got saved I was angry and hopeless.

I started fights at school, I argued with my parents, I bullied my siblings. I was a terrible kid.

I got saved when someone told me just how much God loved me. He told me that God sent His own perfect son to die for me, a sinner, who had dissappointed Him more times than I can count.

After I got saved, I actually payed attention in church, I fought less, I had HOPE. however, the worst was yet to come. a few years later, I started looking at pornography, even though i was saved. I believe you cant lose your eternal salvation. I did it because I didn't know the evil I was letting into my life. I gave into desires and by the time i figured out how bad it really was, it was too late and I was addicted. I went in circles for 18 months while I turned 16, got my car, and had my first girlfriend, all while secretly looking at porn. I was deppressed. I was caught once. I was hopeless. God sent a dream to my exgirlfriend about our wedding. I have had dreams that were of the future before and so I thought thats what this was. I was convinced I was going to quit porn, and get married to my girlfriend. A few months later and I didnt quit, and she and I broke up. around this time I started to read the bible, but I didnt read much. "if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV That verse was the reason I started reading my Bible. the small bits I was reading didnt help, so I read more and more and more each day. Today I read the whole Bible every 2 months or so. (only 10 chapters in the morning and 10 at night, roughly). I've read the whole Bible 2 and 1/2 times. I have a new girlfriend. I am closer with God than ever before. I am happy. I am 17. I have no regrets, (not even watching porn becuase that struggle got me to a better place). and I havent watched porn in over 2 months. The crazy part is God knew what was going to happen: I crushed on my current girlfriend before i got addicted she set me up with my ex girlfriend I was in love and never intended to break up with my exgirlfriend God sent all the drama and stuff with my exgirlfriend so that we would break up I started reading Gods Word and quit porn I got together with my new girlfriend and God let all that happen so I wouldnt hurt the girl I love today with my choices last year. God is good.

I still struggle, but I read the Bible and everything is ok again. sometimes I dont know how I made it this far, but it's with God's help. All i had to do was ask.

I am not scared of death. I have no reason to be. I am beyond excited to see those pearly gates. where the wicked shall cease their troubling, and the weary shall be at rest.