God's path to me

Before I received eternal life I was skeptical and angry. I viewed needing God as weak and needing a crutch. I was very ambitious and prideful and wanted things and didn't really care what I needed to do to get them. I was very much in love with the idea of the American dream. Big house, fancy car, lots of money, a beautiful wife and kids, etc. I knew if I had all of these things I would be happy. I wasn't very happy with my life but at the time I don't think I recognized that. I felt empty and didn't feel like my life had much purpose.

My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. My dad was an alcoholic and my mom had given him a number of warnings about his drinking. He kept failing and drinking again so they eventually got divorced. The divorce was really hard on everyone. Me, mom, and my sister moved from the house I grew up in because we couldn't afford it on one income and moved into a rough part of town. That was really tough on me because I valued living a privileged life. I wanted to have a lot of stuff. I was humbled right away when I stared going to school in Wichita at a big school with kids of many different backgrounds and broken families. The divorce affected every part of my childhood and not in a good way. My dad lost his good job and had to move to Iowa. This meant being a seven hour drive from him. My mom and dad didn't want to see each other much so this meant seeing my dad at Christmas and in the Summer. I still loved my dad very much so him moving away when I was little really hurt. My dad relapsed a few times along the way and the courts threatened to take away all visitations. I just couldn't understand why my dad would continue to drink if he loved us. A few years later my Dad was born again. He started talking about God and Jesus and how God sent Jesus to die for my sins. I can remember thinking that I hadn't done anything wrong and that he was the one that messed up. I was angry and resented my dad for the childhood that was stolen and altered. As I continued to grow up I had the mindset that I didn't need God to achieve my goals and only weak people needed him. I believed that if my dad would've stayed strong and not drank we would all still be together. I continued to pour myself into golf and achieving my dreams. I figured I was in control of my destiny and if I worked hard enough I could achieved anything I wanted. But over time I started to realize that I may not get everything I wanted. Everything that I had worked for was coming up short. My golf game wasn't producing the results that I needed and I didn't have the career I wanted and I didn't have the wife or family I wanted.

After a failed relationship with a girl I really liked and some job problems, my dad talked to me again about Jesus. For the first time I saw my sin and my need for Jesus and a loving relationship with him. I saw the beauty of the cross and wanted the freedom of being a child of God.

Now that I have eternal life I realize my salvation is not based on me and I have the freedom to live for God's glory.

I knew my life was made new and I needed to change some things. After committing my life to Jesus, I prayed that God would open up some new doors for me. I took a job in Omaha, NE and left everything I knew. I left all my friends, family, and my dream of becoming a pro golfer in KS but I thought God wanted me to go to Omaha. Things in Omaha were difficult but I saw my need for God more than ever. I relied on him and really grew in that time. God gave me the strength and the faith to trust him and put my confidence in him that he would care for me. I didn't know what the outcome was going to be but I trusted God was going to be with me. After spending about 10 months in Omaha I started praying that God would give me a wife. It wasn't too long after that, that I got a job offer with the same company I was currently working for in Iowa. My dad lived in Iowa still and so did my brother, so I decided to take it. Shortly after moving to Iowa I met Carrie. Carrie was the wife I had prayed for and we got married about a year later.

I know now that I can do nothing to earn salvation and that eternal life is only based on the free gift that Christ offered on the cross. Faith in what Christ did on the cross has taught me to rely on his strength and not my own and to trust him above anyone or anything else.