From STRESS to SURRENDER

Before I received Christ, I was performance-driven. I grew up as the second of twelve children and was constantly trying to earn my parents approval by being obedient, doing acts of kindness for others, attending church and catechism and generally "being a good kid". I was taught that these good things were the way to please my EARTHLY father, and of course my HEAVENLY father as well As an adult, in my continued effort to always earn favor in the workplace, I slowly became a workaholic (at great personal, relational, and physical sacrifice). My efforts were recognized and I was promoted to an even more stress-provoking position with great responsibilities and the associated anxiety over the need to excel. I felt that I, and I ALONE, had to BE IN CONTROL of every part of my life. The constant stress was exhausting and was taking its toll on me.

At age 36, MY priorities abruptly changed when I was involved in a near-fatal car accident on an icy Pennsylvania road. My automobile went into an uncontrollable skid. Upon hitting the guard rails, at a high rate of speed, I was ejected from the car through the shattered side window and was thrown over an embankment. When I regained consciousness, I was lying face down over that snowy hillside with 2 ton of metal pinning me to the ground beneath it. I felt sheer terror when I realized that my still-running car was lying on its roof ON TOP OF ME! I felt and smelled the warm oil from the car running over me as I I remained trapped for over 3 hours in that freezing rain until I was rescued. God had intervened to SLOW ME DOWN. I had never really talked much to God before, but that day I talked to Him every time I woke up. Praying and pleading that He would save me by sending help before my car caught fire. For the first time in my life, I felt Him with me.

I know NOW that if I had died on that day, I would NOT have woken up in Heaven. I had always thought that I was a "Shoe-in" for the pearly gates because God most-certainly had to be pleased with how I was living my life through all my "good works". Now, I know differently. All those "good things" were not what was needed to gain eternal life as I had always believed. God helped me re-prioritize my life. He made me aware of "an emptiness" deep inside me and created a thirst to know HIM more. I have been saved because someone (my own daughter) cared enough and loved me enough to not give up praying for me. She shared the Good News with me. God continued to work on me and helped me relinquish control to HIM.

My work responsibilities didn't change but my attitude about life became more peaceful as I grew in my relationship with Christ. I no longer lived under the constant oppression of stress.

Several years later, I needed urgent heart surgery. Instead of panic, I was filled with an over-whelming PEACE in knowing that GOD, not me, was IN TOTAL CONTROL of my life and my destiny. I went to the OR that day knowing that if I died, I was assured of Eternal Life! God loved me ! God healed me PHYSICALLY but He also healed me SPIRITUALLY on that operating table. He revived my heart, soul and spirit. He gave me purpose. I believe He commissioned me to work as His partner to bring my family back to Him in a new way, as a loving Father. God has blessed my spiritual journey by allowing me to serve in multiple ministries.

God freed me from a self-destructive life of stress and worry. I am no longer held prisoner to unreachable standards of perfection to "EARN" God's love. I am now FREE to be a disciple who makes disciples. (serving as a Small Group Leader, as a Prayer Partner, as a member of the Pastoral Care Ministry and Facilitator for the "Following Jesus" classes. I have seen THE FRUIT in the lives that have been changed through knowing Christ. I have accepted His free gift. I surrendered control of my life to HIM. He has give me PEACE beyond all understanding. I know that I have been saved to spend eternity with God, my daughter and my husband of 45 years who is already in Heaven.