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From Mistrust in People to Trust in God
My life had been pretty sterile and comfortable the first twenty years of my life. On July 2,1993, my Aunt Elizabeth Burnett was murdered by her husband Steve Burnett in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Up to that point I thought I was a Christian, but that opened my eyes to my own anger and hatred inside of me. Although I had gone to church on a regular basis, I was not a Christian. In the two years following my Aunt’s passing away, my world as I knew it crumbled apart. There were nineteen hardships that my family and I personally faced. In November of 1995, I had hit rock bottom. God had been pursuing me. I felt it. I physically had so much pain that I could not even breathe. I was in a fetal position on the floor hoping to will myself to die. I wondered how my Grandmother Mildred was able to be full of joy and thriving with the disease COPD and grieving her own daughter’s death. I phoned my beloved Grandma and asked her for her hope, and ability to live each day with the hardships and grief of her own daughter’s murder!!! She said “You just have to trust in God”. I knew exactly in my heart what I should do next. I had heard from church camp what to do, but never had done it before. Still on the floor, I hung up the phone with my Grandmother, bowed my head and prayed. I prayed, “God, I have made a mess of my life, Jesus I want you now to be my pilot of my life. Please, Jesus come into my heart. Please forgive me from my sins.”Jesus had been my only friend I could count as a friend at that time, besides my Grandma. He was near me and now in my heart with me. I was overjoyed! Shackles feel off my eyes, and for the first time, I could see the spiritual things clearly. When I read the Bible, God taught me and I understood the meaning of the Bible. I understood the difference of having a relationship with Jesus. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice and God’s forgiveness of my sins, I am saved. I have hope of going to heaven and bringing as many as I can with me. Thank you God!
My life on the inside of my heart was full of jealousy and anger. I saw others as people to compete against.
I ruined many chances for friendships and relationships. When I was not invited to other people’s parties, I turned to revenge and hatred towards that person.
I hit rock bottom. I felt like I had no one I could trust. I was hurting from the pain of rejection. I called my Grandmother, and she told me to “trust in God”. Then, I hung up the phone and put my trust in Jesus to be the pilot of my life.
As soon as I asked Jesus into my heart, I could see and understand the scriptures. The shackles of anger and pain feel off of my eyes. I had a friend in JESUS and I was overjoyed.
I now put my trust in God with all my heart. I don’t worry about my steps. The byproduct has been love towards others and rich relationships with others.
Because of my relationship with Jesus, I know with confidence I will be with my loving Savior in Heaven one day.
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