From Insecurity to Security

Before I received Christ, I was very insecure, had many fear and would panic about what would happen to my son if I died. Something was missing and I tried to fill it with relationships and things. I just wanted to always start over and hopefully would get it right. Left a path of destruction in my wake!

I would get in a car and panic. I just knew I was going to die and that there would be no one to help my son. His father was a lawyer who had become a drug addict . My baby and I moved to California to get away from the destruction and I was all alone. I was complaining one time to my mother about men and she said "I see only one common denominator in this." I could not believe she said that to me!

My mom had been trying to get me back in church. I worked 70 hours a week and the only time I got off I didn't want to go to church but decided I needed to turn this self destruction around! I went to EV Free in Walnut Creek and realized that what they said made sense. I then moved to Manteca and ended up at First Baptist where I learned about a personal relationship with God and how this was all a History of the Jews, it was predicted by God and I quietly gave my life to my Saviour, right there in the pew of that church. My relationships were still in shambles but when I accepted Jesus, I was not alone He took my panic attacks away. He took my loneliness away and my guilt and shame and gave me an entirely new outlook on life.

My panic went away. I didn't fear what would happen to me. I had a purpose, to serve the Lord and make sure my son knew Him. I still wanted a good relationship but I had a better relationship with Jesus. I was no longer lonely.

I knew that no matter how difficult my life was and relationships were, Jesus was there for me. I never understood relationship nor had a good example in my life but through the years I have learned what it is and Jesus has taught me how to have one.

My life is definitely 180 degrees different than if was before. I understand that I was in desperate need of a Saviour. I thought I could do it myself but just kept failing. I have gone through many heart aches since but know that Jesus never fails. I am 100% sure that I will see my dear family and friends again who have gone before me. Jesus has given me the assurance of eternal life and the assurance that I am worthy and helped me with my insecurities in this life.