From Fleshly Desires and Sexual Fantasy to Setting Spirit and Mind on Jesus

God is the Creator of the Universe and deserves our Praise and His Son, Jesus, sets our paths right by being the perfect Lord and Savior. And being guided by the Holy Spirit, I sing praise and love with all my heart, soul, mind, and spirit to this Triune God .

I recently truly came to the Lord about a month ago and even more recently got baptized. I joined a part of the church of the Living Stream Ministry (LSM) and the brothers and sisters therein who helped to bring me to the Lord. However, before joining this group I was aware of Jesus Christ but did not fully believe before then and had a “shaky” relationship with Jesus. I had one foot with Jesus and one foot in the world, but I never truly knew Him and was a religious Christian and was still in sin. This is equivalent to never knowing Jesus, because you are still living in the world, and Jesus does not want us to have a deep love for the world and love Him as well because you may be putting the world above Jesus in a wavering. Anyway, now, I will get into the details about my transformation for lifetime. Throughout the latter years of my life, I went to a Christian school, Tabernacle Christian Academy, in Poughkeepsie, NY. I attended this school and claimed to profess a faith for the period of time, I was in the school, I claimed to be a Christian and thought I was completely zealous for the faith and claimed to be religious. I thought I was saved, but there were still sinful things in my life which were consuming me, but I thought by simply attending a Christian school would secure my salvation. However, I could not have been more unclear about what it means to truly be saved. I was still sinning willfully, I was looking at women as objects, willfully angry, and worst of all put worldly things above God. However, unfortunately, this was the beginning of willful sin. I graduated high school and decided I wanted to study mathematics and physics with the intent of understanding God’s creation. I went to Dutchess Community College in Poughkeepsie, NY, where I still claimed to be a “religious Christian” but that is where I saw the world and it was tempting and I took the bait and got hooked to it. This decision led me to sin where I started to do things like swear like crazy, treat women as objects, be angry with my work, and putting work and distractions above God. However, this was just the beginning of sinful behavior. I then went to SUNY Oneonta where I set my first love to physics and put it above everything else. However, what I did not realize was most physicists take an arrogant approach to physics, where it is a worldly competition among people to publish papers and worst of all put the thumbs down for God. Unfortunately, science in general has taken God out of the picture and has put “empty nature” as an idol and driver for the world while having a front row seat to see the beauty of God’s creation. You have to be blind to not see God in creation and as it says in Psalms 14:1: “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.” I used to be blinded by this false doctrine among Agnostic and Atheist scientists and this is I chose to detach from God. I decided to become Agnostic Atheist, in a way where I gambled and I put my bets and believed there was no God. I put my own reasoning and logic and faith into science rather than God, because it seemed to be the right thing to do. But this is not biblical because in Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding”. In addition, I was continuing sinning more and more where frustrations were continuing and lusts were still taking over and became sexual fantasies. I am not going to go into the details about how far this went, but I can’t go a day or even hour without thanking God for forgiving me and taking out of these sins. In college life, there is so much worldly promotion like there is no tomorrow. People go to the bars like there are repercussions, people being unholy with premartial sex, twisting God given sexuality in the LGBTQ community, smoking cigarettes, pot, drugs, etc., being zombies to phones and entertainment. With this deadly combination, it is so easy to become distracted from the word of God and then eventually forget about it, which was what happened to me and I am here to testify about it. This shows how people have freely given into Satan and the domino effect has occurred where these distractions have become idols to humanity. I used to be involved in sexual fantasies and more focused on worldly things such as fame and worldly glory in the pursuit of education and thought my own reasoning will lead me to a “happy life”, but will only yield a season of please in this life, for it says in Hebrews 11:24-26: “24 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; 25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; 26 Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.” In addition, the way most of us and God’s Word says in Matthew 7:13-14: “13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: 14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it”. We can forget our actions in this life have an effect on our daily lives and according to God’s Word most people will choose the broad way of destruction and from what I have seen this is clear. For instance, I know a lot more people who are bound and addicted to substance and who are partyers and love to get drunk and are bound to fornication through porn and masturbation, with the latter, porn and masturbation, which eventually had a tight dark entangled grasp on me a couple of years later. However, actions such as these are not pleasing in the eyes of God and will lead to the path of destruction. Some verses include 1 Cornithians 6:9-11: “9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” and Revelation 21:8: “8 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” Now, think of it in this perspective, if you are smoking, drinking, masturbating, and doing porn and it is not allowed in church or any place you can think where it is unacceptable, you would be embarrassed of doing these things in that inappropriate prescence of a group of people. Now, since all these things stated are unacceptable in the eyes of God, who is infinitely more powerful, then you should be infinitely more embarrassed and wary of the consequences God has for you. This was only the intermediate part of my journey to experience the world and how filthy sin is, but it was not the greatest of my fall. I graduated from SUNY Oneonta, believing there is no God, pretty much an Atheist, by accepting the scientific community with its arrogant attitude toward God. Then I went and am currently at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI) to pursue and still am pursuing a PhD in Physics with an Atheistic attitude, but at the same time questioning our existence. I am studying nanostructured materials, but I had a great change in perspective by starting from looking at materials in a secular way with distractions such as the pursuit of grand status of multiple publications and having a “promising” job after graduation to looking for the Divine Answer which is found in the Bible. However, these things did not manifest in my spirit until very recently, where I realized that Jesus was there the whole time but I chose to deny Him and live in my worldly ways rather than His pure and holy ways. I used to think that the Bible was one of the most silly things brought to mankind and was just some book, but I felt I was putting more work into disproving God than to enjoy God by denying His existence and thinking it is the grown-up thing to do for a mature scientist. It was kind of like forcing a frown and resisting to smile or pushing down a tight spring and holding it. However, when in the process of pushing this spring so far that it sprang back and hit me in the face. That is, when I realized I was indulging in the demonic art of masturbation and fornication with porn. For about a year in 2018, I did this sick art very often and I realized it was wicked but still continued to deny this was evil, even though many people claim it to “healthy”. But then I realized there was some darkness that fell over me everytime I performed this act and each time I got pulled back with a tighter and tighter grasp. But then I came to a depression where I felt almost completely empty, not realizing that we have a God-shaped hole in our heart, which can only be filled by God, because he is the only one who is large enough to fill it. So I remembered back to Jesus, who I viewed as a historical figure at the time, and finally decided to give Jesus a chance and just with some faith He immediately worked in me and with my freewill He took me away from the temptation of porn. Then about 3 days later, I decided to join the LSM group at RPI and have been an amazing blessed group ever since. Then during that week, by praying and reading His Word everyday, I have been cured from the disease of porn. However, this was just the beginning, He has given me the ability to stop being frustrated with work, even at the worst times, and caused me to enjoy life much more than I have ever enjoyed it. And I remember Jesus let me look back at porn for a moment and after a week of being saved and came to an incredible surprise where porn did not give me faux pleasures anymore and now I see it was stupid. I have come to repentance of these sins and any other sins that the Holy Spirit points out. Everyday I make it my main priority to be wary of these sins so they will not occur again and if they do, there is nothing to undo those sins, but to learn from them and ask forgiveness to Jesus for them. For it says in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God”, but we should not let these sins consume our lives because if these sins continue to consume us, we can not be pleasing to God and those sins will consume us, for it says in Romans 8:6-11: “6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. 8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. 10 And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.” You know people have a desire for peace and these verses make you think about what peace is and where it comes and the answer is clear and so obvious, but most people do not see peace comes from Jesus and a relationship with Jesus. I cannot thank God enough for bringing me to Him and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that I can thank more than for Jesus to have such open arms for Him to be available to you. But however, it is extremely important to remember even though He is open, He does not want you to fall back into sin, but to continue living holy and have the Holy Spirit on fire in you to remove sin from your being and be on fire for the Lord. If you do not have a relationship with Jesus, you do not know what you are missing and the joy of living righteously with Jesus. After this transformation, I found not only enjoyment in directly calling on the name of Jesus, but in everything I do. I love waking up in the morning spending personal time with Jesus and having Him help me iron out my being and diving deeper and deeper into the Word of God with the hope for those as it says in Proverbs 20:12, “The hearing ear, and the seeing eye, the LORD hath made even both of them” to gain the same joy that is within the true born-again believers of the Church of the Bride of Christ. I also enjoy my job studying nanomaterials much more because I can see the true beauty of God’s design in the chemistry and physics of how atoms and molecules work together to manifest the universe. Similarly, Jesus works with you to become more like Him day by day and to reach glory to glory to glory! I can testify that what a lot of scientists do no realize is they are exercising their minds more than they are exercising their spirit, and may not even believe the spirit exists but it says in Romans 12:2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Also as it says in “to put off your former way of life, your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be renewed in the spirit of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”. Jesus Christ died on the cross for us to be saved from eternal torment as it stated is stated in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” and Isaiah 53:5, “5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” The only way for us to renew our spirit is through the Jesus Christ, for it says in John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” It is impossible to prevent sinning without Jesus, without Jesus you can’t easily recognize sin and you will do sins without being aware with it. We were not originally meant to be on planet Earth in this worldly sinful state, but before the fall of mankind by Adam’s sin in the Garden of Eden, sin has entered into the world. It has infected every man born and God wants us to be born again by accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit through water baptism. For it says in Acts 2:38, “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.” Without Jesus, I was deep in sin and could not recognize the good in God’s eyes, but being deep in Jesus, I am able to recognize sin and do something about it. And with becoming more aware of the sins in your current life, Jesus guides you to remove these sins from your life. I can testify that all these things stated from this point are true and have a real experience associated with them and everyone today is capable of salvation, if they choose to accept Jesus and get water baptized. Most people believe going to church is enough to save yourself, but do not have a deep relationship with Jesus. That means taking at least half an hour to 2 hours a day and/or even 6-8 hours on the weekends to spend in God’s Word, not spending a few hours at church and having dependence on that. Jesus came and died for YOU, HE DIED FOR YOU!!!, to prevent a fiery fate with an eternity in hell due to willful sin in this life and have them manifest as torments in Hell. He wants the world the way it was before the fall and He has made it possible, it is so simple, all you need to do is enjoy Jesus Christ, and His ways and you will be more happy than you can ever do yourself. The hard part is to first pass through that narrow gate and deny yourself as it says in Matthew 16:24-26, “24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” Jesus says He desires for us to not be guilty, for as it says in Romans 3:21-22 in the Living Bible “But now God has shown us a different way to heaven—not by “being good enough” and trying to keep his laws, but by a new way. Now God says he will accept and acquit us—declare us “not guilty”—if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, by coming to Christ, no matter who we are or what we have been like.” He wants each of us to join Him in heaven and in His kingdom and while His invitation is still open, there is still time to be a part of the Bride of Christ, because the deadline for the decision is either your death date or the rapture. So I am warning you, if you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior and got a full water immersion baptism, there is still time to accept Jesus’ invitation and let Him work in your lives through and through dissipate the sin out of your life but replace your natural sin. Also, even if you think you are a terrible sinner, then that is great spiritual progress, because just like it was said in the Calling of Matthew, which says in Matthew 9:9-13 (NIV), “9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. 10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”. That is, Matthew realized He was a sinner and humbled himself and realized He needed Jesus help, but the Pharisee exalted himself in his salvation and though that he above others and reached a point of salvation. But according to Psalms 37:11-13: “11 But all who humble themselves before the Lord shall be given every blessing and shall have wonderful peace. 12-13 The Lord is laughing at those who plot against the godly, for he knows their judgment day is coming.” That is, never think and exalt yourselves above others but continue to recognize that in this world, sin exists and has taken a strong hold on most people in the world, and they don’t even now it. God works in very interesting ways, for it says in Matthew 20:16: “16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.” If you are lost among a group, which is bound by the ways of the world and the self, then do not be ashamed for being persecuted for your beliefs, but become a living testimony for the joy that is found in Jesus. However, this can apply to people who may be looking in the church life to look for the approval of men by pleasing the masses and exalting themselves by trying to win some game of being holy. That is, we should look to please God by living in Jesus’ footsteps and not for the approval of men and you should be asking the question as brought up in Galatians 1:10: “10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” I can testify within this month of sealing my salvation, these words are truly from my heart and the Holy Spirit wanted to move me to write this message. With these things said, it is clear from God’s Word that Jesus is the only way to salvation, get a water baptism as soon as you can to receive the fullness of the Holy Spirit, and come to repentence and turn away from sin, and by following and reading God’s Word daily, Jesus will help you break the chains of your sinful nature. These words apply to Christians as well. Live each day by minimizing your sins and maximizing your joy and then you will be prepared to move into the kingdom of God and have your worldly desires left behind, left for destruction in the upcoming judgment, and live each day according to Jesus Christ as if you have already died or were raptured away. Because we will come face to face with eternity, so why wait until death or the rapture to enjoy the fullness of Jesus Christ, but do it today so that way an infinite ray pointing to eternity will have its start and remain a projection of joy that is to come? So that when your appointment with the God has come, then we will know you are certainly going to join the kingdom of God. I pray these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I believe that God wants all people to go to heaven, but at the same time I believe there is a barrier that we need to overcome. That is, we need to overcome the desires of the flesh and overcome that bump and Jesus is the only way to overcome that bump. I have come to repentance and turned away from willful sin and the Lord Jesus has been helping me to continue to renew my mind through spirit. I am confident that Jesus wants me back home someday and we will meet and it will be a joyous occasion to be among all the overcomers of sin in this world and who have found the joy in delighting in Jesus Christ and all He has to offer.