From Brokenness with out Him, to healing and love with Him

Before giving my life to Jesus, my life was empty. I was looking for love but only if it had the right conditions. I didn't know what unconditional love was.

My life looked good on the outside, two cars, a wife, two kids, ranch style home, good job, drummer/lead singer in a rock and roll band, but inside my life was falling apart. No matter what I tried to do I could not stop it. My house was being foreclosed on, my wife was cheating on me, my in-laws were verbally abusive towards me, and I was going through a divorce. I was feeling like I was a failure both as a father and a husband.

I started going back to church. As I heard the pastor speak I started writing down the passages of scripture that he would use in the 1st and 2nd readings and the gospel message. When I got home, I would look those verses up and read the entire chapter. That's when the Bible started to come alive for me. I then asked Jesus to come into my brokenness and help me to repair my life. That's when I gave my life to Christ.

Now that I have given my life to Christ, I have a peace that cannot be put into words. God has healed my brokenness from that previous life, forgiven me for my sins, and has been walking with me ever since. I now enjoy reading his word and studying it everyday. I still have those feelings of failure. But I know that God will use my sense of failure and make something great come from it. I have found the unconditional love that I was always looking for. And now that I can see what it looks and feels like, I can now give that to my current wife and family. I have found a security in God's love that no matter how much or how badly I may feel like a failure, His love for me will never fail.

Family members now look to me for strength when they are having life issues. Many people have referred to me as their rock as they lean on me for support through hard times. My Mother lost her husband, my Dad, and had a difficult time moving on. She thanks me for being there for her and helping her though. Even co-workers notice something different about me. I am usually in a good mood and don't use foul language, even when they ask me to. They are surprised that I talk about doing my job for my family and looking forward to being home with them.

I have this peace now from knowing that God loves me and that Jesus died so that my sins could be forgiven. Nothing I could ever do could atone for my sins. But Jesus' love for me not only paid the price for my sins, but now I have an eternal life with him when my time on this earth is done. I no longer have any fear of dying, I know where I'm going. I now look forward to sharing this peace and love with others so that they can experience it as well. It truly is life changing.