Forgiveness Conquers Fear

Having assurance of God's eternal life in heaven gives me inner peace and hope because I know that even though I have done wrong things (sins) in my life, I know that Jesus died on the cross to take the penalty of all sin and that God has forgiven me.

Just a few years ago, I suddenly found myself in a terrible time of anxiety. This was the first time in my life I had felt true anxiety and I was suddenly fearful of so many things. Even the little things in life made me feel full of anxiety. I could hardly even motivate myself to get out of bed. My doctor prescribed medication but that only helped to a certain extent. I began to search for Bible scriptures to help me to find relief. One verse would lead to another and to another. I felt that God was giving me these verses. I wrote down the references of each of the verses and every night I would pour through the verses again and God would lead me to more verses. During that time I wanted so badly to feel God's presence and healing in my life, but I just wasn't feeling it. However, something within me (the Holy Spirit) told me not to give up. I knew that even though I couldn't feel God with me I knew that He must be there. I knew that He was trying to teach me something. I had so many people praying for me at that time. I had no shame about sharing what I was going through with other Christians because I knew that prayer was powerful. I was going to therapy with a secular counselor and that helped me to deal with some of my symptoms but I couldn't quite get to the root of my problem. Then one day a good Christian friend of mine and I were taking a walk. She boldly asked me if there was some kind of sin in my past that perhaps I had not fully felt forgiven for. I thought about it for awhile. Then I reluctantly confessed to her about something I had done in the past that I was ashamed of. "Do you think that this could be what's causing all this anxiety?" I asked. She said, "Absolutely!" The fact that she still loved me as her friend, in spite of what I had done, was the first step to real healing. Shortly after that, I signed up for a healing Bible Study that was being offered by my church. I began to deal with the many aspects of my sin and was able to accept forgiveness from God because I realized that what Jesus did on the cross paid my penalty in full. By the end of the 10-week Bible study I was freed from all the anxiety. About 6 months later, I became a co-leader of this same Bible study. Now I help lead studies a couple of times a year and although I have never thought of myself as a natural-born leader, God has impassioned me and empowered me to do His work through Christ Jesus. "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

Although God allowed me to go through a very difficult trial, He surprised me by showing me that I am stronger than I think, and also that He can and will empower me to do the work that He has planned for me; even if I don't think that I am capable. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Life is sometimes difficult, but no matter what, I have the joy of knowing that one day I will live in peace in Heaven with my Heavenly Father.