Finding my identity

Before I received God's gift of eternal life I had a low sense of self worth, dealt with the pain of rejection and I found my identity in what I achieve.

My parents had me at a young age, their relationship ended soon after I was born and growing up I always sensed the bitterness my mother had towards my dad and I barely saw him throughout my childhood. I held them both responsible, I felt he also could have tried harder to pursue a relationship with me. This lead to dealing with the pain of rejection and a low sense of sense worth, I was also always putting others needs above my own out of the fear of rejection. Nevertheless, my saviour became my achievements, in them I found my identity and a sense of fulfillment, I would not be satisfied if I did not get an A especially in the numbers subjects. To my great disappointment I did not do well in my first year of university and eventually failed my major, from there my self esteem went downhill and I eventually fell into depression.

Then a feeling came over me, of being fed up with the feeling of heaviness, helplessness and the negative thoughts playing through my mind day in and day out. I remember lying in my bed and pleading "Lord pull me out of this hole I am in". Soon after at the Church I was already attending I received assurance of my salvation.

Now that I have eternal life, I am on a beautiful journey of walking in my identity in Christ.

After Christ healed me I began a journey of learning who I am in Him and His great unconditional love, and the more I not only get to know it, but receive it, the greater my sense of peace and wholeness, the smaller my need to be validated by anything outside of my relationship with Him. This has happened and still happens through spending time engaging with Him, getting to know His Word and being part of an authentic Bible-based Church.

Not only am I experiencing the abundant life He came to give me here on earth, I am certain when I die I will have it even more abundantly eternally in Heaven.