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Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
I struggled with anxiety and an eating disorder throughout high school, hiding it from my family for years. At a DiscipleNow event my senior year, I heard a message about how Jesus brings freedom from hidden sins and addictions. Convicted, I prayed and opened up to a church leader, who encouraged me to share with my parents. With their support and the guidance of a dietician from my church, I began to heal and rebuild a healthy relationship with food. Through this journey, I discovered that God created me on purpose for a purpose, and today I live in freedom from shame, trusting His unconditional love and plan for my life.
God created me on purpose for a purpose.
In high school, I had a broken view of self-worth. I was consumed by anxiety and struggled with an eating disorder that completely distorted how I saw myself. For nearly three years, I secretly purged meals every day, hiding it from my family because I knew they would be worried about my destructive habits. During my senior year, I attended a DiscipleNow event—a weekend-long church gathering for youth. In one of the services, the pastor spoke about how Jesus can set us free from the habits we hide behind closed doors. He specifically mentioned eating disorders, explaining how addictions thrive in darkness, and that true freedom comes when we bring our struggles into the light and surrender them to Jesus. As he spoke, I began to sob, realizing I couldn’t fight this battle on my own. I prayed, asking God to free me from the constant anxiety I felt over food and body image. In that moment, I felt Him telling me to bring my struggle into the light by sharing it with someone. I got up from my seat, found a church staff member, and poured out everything I had been hiding for the last three years. She prayed over me and encouraged me to tell my parents by the end of the weekend—otherwise, she would have to—so that I could finally get the help I needed. The next day, I confided in my mom. We both cried, and she reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. She wasn’t disappointed in me; in fact, she had suspected for a while that I was struggling. Soon after, my parents connected me with a registered dietitian from our church. Over the next year, she walked with me through the process of untangling the lies I had believed about food and my body. She also gave me biblical counsel that helped me truly understand that God created me on purpose for a purpose. Today, I can say that the urges to purge have significantly lessened. I give all the glory to Jesus for freeing me from the shame that once held me captive. I am still working to rebuild a healthy relationship with food, but I now walk in the confidence that God has a plan for my life, He loves me unconditionally, and I don’t have to be afraid of what comes next.
God delivered me from my eating disorder, and I know the best is yet to come.
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