Despair and Fear transformed into...Peace and Love

I was foolishly trying and working so hard to be a “Christian” on my own apart from God.

I grew up in a Christian home and always attended church. I served in various church ministries over the years; choir, Vacation Bible School, Sunday school teacher, Women’s prison ministry, and the church café to name a few. Very seldom would a curse word escape my lips. I read my Bible regularly and had a scripture verse as the tagline at the bottom of my email. The harder I tried, the more I failed, and the more frustrated, depressed, and hopeless I became. I was afraid of death because I did not have confidence that the Lord knew me. One of the scriptures that constantly brought me fear was Matthew 7:22-23; “On that day many will say to me ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then I [Jesus] will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.” However, on the other hand, I was afraid to live because I had no real hope or joy; everything I tried seemed to be doomed for failure. I was a Christian without Christ.

Praise the Lord that He sent His only begotten son, Jesus, to rescue us from sin, darkness, fear, and death through His death on the cross and His glorious resurrection. What a glorious day it was when the Lord opened my eyes to see that Jesus paid it all and I trusted Jesus alone for eternal life. Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to pay the penalty for my sins and purchase a place in heaven for me.

What indescribable peace and rest to cease from my futile, destructive efforts and instead trust in Jesus alone, who is faithful in His eternal word. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” The one and only true God changed my heart and my perspective. He is all I need and is worthy of all my praise. Now, I joyfully live to serve the Lord I love in everything I do and to share His wondrous love with others. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

I still encounter difficult situations and challenging times, but now I know I am not alone. My hope and confidence is in the Lord who promises, in His eternal word, to be my refuge who will never leave me. The one and only true God Himself promises to His people in Deuteronomy 31:8; “The LORD is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.”

The words of a traditional hymn that is very precious to me poignantly express my story: “Lord, now indeed I find Thy pow’r, and Thine alone, Can change the leper’s spots and melt the heart of stone. Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain; He washed it white as snow.” I think the one true God says it best in 1 John 5:13 “I write these things to you…[who believe in the name of the Son of God].. that you may know that you have eternal life.” Because of this I can confidently say that I am God’s possession and securely so forever.