Closing 27

Worries/Anxiety/Stress/Burnout/Depression

I Lost It ALL and Then Gained It ALL Back

“I Don’t Look Like NOTHING I Been Through !“

The Easiest Way To Have Peace Is By Putting Everything In GOD’s Hands

I Don’t Look Like NOTHING I Been Through ! “ & It’s ALL Because Of GOD’s Grace And Mercy I Thought Being A Teacher Was Difficult (it Gets HARD) BUT 2019 Was Actually THE Worst Year Of My Life.. iT Seemed As If I Was Losing EVERYTHING My Peace, My Patience, My Father .. & It Also Felt like i Was Losing MY MIND !! I Wasn’t Myself & I Devalued Myself .. BUT Little Did i Know It Was The Truest Test Of My Faith; Also My Transition Into A “ I Wouldn’t Be The WOMAN I Am Today Without EVERY Last Trial & Tribulation .. Last Year These Times I Learned That My Father Was Diagnosed With Cancer .. i Was Also FAITHFULLY Waking Up Everyday Going To Work To Full-fill My Passion “Teaching” Monday - Friday From September - February Without Receiving My Bi-Monthly Pay Checks ON TIME From September & DON’T Ask Me Why Because I STILL Don’t Know WHY This Was Happening Until This Day (THIS WHY I DONT FW DOE & Every Chance I Get I Want OUT But Apparently They Got Sum Type Of Bad JuJu Over Me Cuz Im Still HERE ??) My first Check For All Those Missed Paid Months Was In December & After December Came February They Put All My Back Pay In One And We All Know The More You Collect The More Your Taxed ?? Now Just Imagine Having An Innocent Child Who Didn’t Even Ask To Be Here To Feed .. Living Off Of Your Savings Account .. With NO Income Coming In At That Moment .. (So Basically All Your Doing Is Spending!!) With A Rent, Car Note, Car Insurance, Utilities, Other Responsibility’s & PARKING Tickets To Pay ! My Back Was DEFINITELY Against The Wall & I Had Very Little Time To Figure It Out .. Thank GOD I Always Had A Mother & A Father Whom NEVER EVER EVER Gave Up On Me No Matter The Circumstance BUT This Was The Bad Part They SPOILED Me Rotten I Didn’t Even Know The Basic Survival Skills At 26 Goin On 27 Cuz I’ve NEVER Seen Nor Imagined Seeing “Struggle” Again This Was By Far THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE ?? I Couldn’t Find It In Me To Ask My Go To/My Bestfriend/My Dad For His Help Knowing The Predicament He Was In Which Then Made Me NOT Even Want To Rely On My Mom Because At That VERY Moment I Thought “T’keyah Your 26 —> Goin On “27” Your An Adult TOO .. When Are You Going To Fend For Yourself? What If You Had No Mom Or Dad ? .. Thats Jus Somethings I Thought To Myself And Thats When I Realized Some Ppl DONT Even Get The Luxury I Did To Have A Supportive Mom/Dad & They Make It .. With The Grace Of GOD I Was Able To Hustle To Make Ends Meat, I Partnered Up With My Dads “Friend” Daughter As She Was Running A Business As An Event Planner & I Had A Car So I’d Make The Deliveries Delivering Items For The Events To Where Ever It Needed To Go For Her .. Up Until I No Longer Had My Car, At Some Point In All This i Had Also Put My Pride Aside Borrowed Money For The VERY FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE (At Age 26 “almost” 27) FROM MY BEST-FRIEND & Had To Pay Her Back That Shit Was NOT Easy & Neither Was She !! I Hated Myself So Much For Pulling Her In My Storm BUT The One Thing I Knew Was Things WOULD Get Better Because MY GOD Can Do ANYTHING But Fail But I Just Wanted It To Be Over Right Then & There !! Thank YOU To My BFF Thru It All You Motivated Me Like NO Other & NEVER Let No Money Change Us YOU Was BIG On That??People Would NEVER Understand .. My ONE Call Thats ALL ?? & Vice Versa Lets Fast Forward To November When I Told My Land Lady Of My Situation (In Which She Gave 0 F*k’s Bout) & Asked For An Extension Until The Situation Be Resolved All While NEVER Missing The Rent Prior Too & “The Land Lady” [Yall Wouldnt Even Want To Know Who She Actually Is To Me -That Part Too Embarrassing ??] Said NO & Turned The Heat In My Apartment OFF .. Now Do Remember I Have A Child & Also That Is Illegal (Ofcourse I took Legal Actions) But That Resulted Into Me NOT Wanting To Stay There & NOT Wanting To Pay The Rent PERIOD !!! I Then Had To Look Forward To Move Into A New Apartment Because I Didn’t Feel That Someone So Evil Deserved A Dollar From Me ESPECIALLY Not When You Interfere With The Welfare Of MY Child The Year That Changed Everything .. However, I Kept Asking GOD, My Mom, The Few Family/Friends Who Knew Of The Situation And Was In My Corner “Why Me” BUT “Sometimes The Teacher WONT Speak During The Test” I HAD To Persevere I Had To Lean On GOD’s Promises And His Word I Had To Walk By Faith And NOT By Sight & KNOW That Soon This Will ALLLLL Be Over I Cried Day In & Day Out Thinking I Hated My Life Jus Becuz All These Weird Things Happened To Me At “26 Goin Into 27” Fast Forward To Dec 5 I Got My First 5 Missing Checks All Together .. I Found My apartment On Dec 10 It Wasn’t Ready Until January 15 & I FINALLY Turned “27” On Dec 15 .. I Had To Pay My Best-friend Back So I Had To Extend My Move In Date To February 1st I Accomplished EVERYTHING I Needed Too With A Little Help From Family & Friends Who Knew Of The Situation & Offered Too .. At Times I Wanted To Give Up But I Had Mello Lookin Up Too Me & Ppl Rooting For Me Shout Outs To ANYONE Who Held Me Down Even If It Was As Little As Calling/Texting/Listening To Me .. Shout Outs To Those Who Went Thru It WITH Me Literally & Also Shout Outs To Those Ppl That Just Kicked Back Praying That Things Wouldn’t Have Gotten Better For Me & That i’d Be Down Forever !! iM STILL STANDING !!!!! Shout Outs To Those Who Kicked Me While I Was Down Too I Hope Ya Reading This .. Yall KNOW Whoo Yall Are & Ofcourse Those Who Dogged Me & My Name & Made My Situation Seem Otherwise Some Ppl SHITTED On Me Along The Way But I Needed That ... Thas When I Learned Sometimes Jealousy Isn’t Only Because Of What You Have Materialistically; People Envy How Others Love You, Show Love To You & Have Love For You People Envy The Way You Handle A Situation That They Probably Would Have DIED over .. What They Thought Would Of Broke You DIDNT .. THEY CANT STAND TO SEE YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH Some People Envy Your Intelligence & How You Could Make Things Happen .. They Envy Because Something They Couldn’t Bypass YOU Passed With Flying Colors... i Dont Trust People !! I Learned To Trust GOD When It Was Move In Day My Dad Could Not Help Because He Could No Longer Lift Heavy Things He Had Also Just Got News That His Cancer Had Now Reached To Stage 4 Started To Spread From Colon To Lung To Liver & That The Treatment Was NOT Working !! At This Point Im Wondering WHEN WILL THIS ALL BE OVER .. But Still Yet I Had Faith February 18 I Followed My Dad To His Appointment (This Was The First Time HE Allowed Me) Its Been A Rocky Road Throughout This Journey Of His Illness Because Sickness Is Not Something Thats easy To Accept Even Worse Knowing You Have Little Time Left Here On Earth BUT Still Keeping The Faith Because God Is God & The Doctor Is NOT God !! On February 18, 2020 My Father Said To Me “T’keyah You Know Im NOT Going To Live Forever” & Up Until This Very Day That Line Replays In My Head Its A Trauma & I Break Down In TEARSSSS Because I REAL Life Watched My Father Slowly But Surely Die Infront Of Me For About A Year & I Couldn’t Do NOTHING To Keep Him Here Well & Healthy BUT GODDDDDD .. GOD Knows Best ???? After This Day My Dad Still Did His Best By Helping Me Move The Lighter Items From The Old Apartment Into The New (Im Thankful He Was Able To Bless My New Place With His Physical Presence) He Also Was Able To Put My Dining Table Together ???? Coming Down To His Last Days I Spent Each & Every Moment Taking Care Of My Father At Just “27” Years Old (NEVER IMAGINED) From Feb 18 —> March 29 I Chauffeured Him, I Fed Him, Ran All His Errands, Laughed, Cried & Joked Until We Couldn’t No More .. In March I Bought Back A New Car .. I Didn’t Owe NOBODY & I Caught Up On ALL My Bills On April 3, 2020 My BEST FRIEND, My Father, My Protector, My Personal Super Hero Succumbed To His Battle With Cancer ?? If You KNEW David Hamilton Then You Knew That He Was Relentless He Protected & Served EVERY+ANYone He Came In Contact With ESPECIALLY His “T’keyah” He Favored Me YES He Did??My Father Would Give Me The Skin On His Body Just To Ensure I Had Skin On Mine .. He Was My Person We Just Clicked These Past 9 Months Have Felt Like 9 Years I Literally Still Shed Tears Behind You EVERY Day Like I Use To When I Was Younger & You Use To Go Outside & I’d Follow Behind You Trying To Come Only For You To Tell Me You Jus Going Outside To Come Right Back & I’d Run Inside CRYIN My Eyes Out ??You Really Broke Me Im So Used To Having MY Father Especially Around My Birthday.. I Just NEVER Imagined .. I’ll Be Typing All Day If I Begin To Express What I Miss About His Physical Presence .. i Miss EVERYTHING About Him I May Not EVER Understand Why Our Physical Bond Was Ever Broken But I Do Know That I Feel His Physical Spirit With Me Every Single Day .. Grief Is NOT A Linear Process & This IS Still VERY New To Me & I Am Trying My Best & Doing My Best To Navigate It As Each Day Passes. BUT I Just Love & Miss You Man Thru All Of This I Always Managed To Keep A Smile On My Face & STAY Positive .. You see Only GOD & a Select Few KNOW ME & MY Story & For Those Who Don’t/Didn’t I Want You To Know That It Took Me “27yrs” To learn That Every Trial & Tribulation You Go Through Is NOT To Break You BUT To Build You For Greatness We All Have It In Us We Just Have To Build Our Faith STRONGER Than Our Fear I Lost, Won, Cried, Laughed, Loved But Above ALL I Learned !! I Even Learned To Embrace Uncertainty, To Be Comfortable In The Unknown & To Find The Strength & Self - Determination To Know That Everything Ultimately WILL be Ok??Im Reminding Myself That MORE Than Ever These Days I Lost It All, Then Gained It Back Double Learned A Lot in The Process Too When Your UP You CANNOT By Any Means Forget What It Feels Like To Be Down It’s Your Battery & Sometimes We Cant See What’s On The Other Side Of The Door Waiting For Us But We Have To Have Faith & Trust GOD No Matter What So NO Longer Will i Be A Prisoner To My Memory Of 27 .. As I Walk Out Of 27 .. 28 Marks A New Chapter & Im Looking Forward To It Being More Peaceful Than Anything If I Dont Turn The Page I’ll Never Know What The Next Chapter Has In Store Now I’ll Just Say GOODBYE 27 & BRING It 28

Strength Doesn’t Come From What You Can Do .. It Comes From Overcoming The Things You Once Thought You Could NOT