Cimbing up the Mountain to Him

Before I received Christ in my life I was full of stress and anxiety.

I was a yong mother with 2 little girls and a husband who very addited alcoholic. I never new when he would come home and cause a fight. The next day he would have no memory of the fight and subsiquent terror he had put me through.

One night I sat at my kitchen table I was truly at the end of myself. I wanted to die, but knew my little girls depended on me. That moment I cried out to God. "If you are real God, then I need you down here with me, not way up there! As I prayed He came to me. He filled me with His presence in a way that left me at total peace. I was filled with a love I had never experienced before. I remember saying, "Lord, If I turned around right now, and saw you standing there, I would not be surprised. He filled me, that is the best wayto describe it. I knew then that I would Never be alone again.

I was loved by God like I had NEVER been loved before.....UNCONDITIONALLY!

I loved in fear most of my life. From abuse at home to getting married at 17 and finding the abuse was still there. My situation did not change for another 8 long years after I accepted God's gift of eternal life. Yet I had found a strength in God that could not be explained in human terms. I lived with this alchoholism for 12 long years. But I can honestly say that after my receiving Christ I became strong. During the most scary nights, I knew I was no longer alone. I found strength to live seperately from my husband many times. God protected me physically during some very ugly situations. I grew stronger. Expected better and would not except that I deserved to be miss treated. Strength, peace and calm covered me most of the time. I forgave my father for the way he treated me. I even got to reconcile with him in his final years, by nursing and loving him, when everyone of his other children had washed their hand of him. I believe my dad excepted the Lord during that time. I was also given the gift of my father's love during those final years. My husband got sober for good after 12 years. He became the man I had fallen in love with and God blessed us with another 21 years of love and friendship. My husband always said, without God, he would have died in an alcoholic stupor. I always said God kept me together and He gave me strength and peace that surpassed all understanding. I learned that I didn't have to live with abuse. I was loved by a King. I was his child and noone could change that.

When someone says to me, "How do you know for sure that God is real?" I just smile and say, He changed me from a terrified girl to a woman of strength. I know this in my heart. He has walked through this life with me. Times can still be extrememly difficult. Yet, I know I don't have to be afraid. With each difficult thing in my life, comes a knowledge that, GOD'S GOT THIS! I have learned to wait on Him for answers. And I know that when I close my eyes for that final time, I will be with Him forever. No more sadness, no more tears, pain or fear. I will just experience joy, in the presence of my God! And His unconditional love!