Blessed And Redeemed

Before receiving Jesus as my savior my life was full of fear, anxiety, negative self image, and anger.

I remember irrational fears of being abandoned and acting out in anger and self destructive behaviors. I did not believe I was loved or worthy of being loved. Anger led to a deep sense of hopelessness, despair which eventually led to clinical depression. I had convinced myself I was not worthy of living and just wanted to die.

I grew up hearing about the Bible and seeing my grandmother’s example as a passionate follower of Christ. Later in life I met a young woman who shared the gospel but at that time I was resistant. It wasn’t until a time of crisis in my life, when my home was falling apart that at the advice of a co-worker, I went to visit my co-worker’s mom. My co-worker was not a Christian but her mom was. I am not sure why she would have advice me to talk to her mom. Later I realized that it was the providential hand of God. Using an unbeliever to draw me to Him. My co-worker’s mom and I talked and she shared her testimony. I believe it was at the right time because my heart was open and receptive. The Sunday following our conversation I surrendered my life to the Lord.

After receiving the gift of salvation I was full of joy and hope. I knew I would not have to walk through life alone. Fear was gone. I no longer feared death.

I felt the peace that I was forgiven and also was able to begin healing and forgiving others. I had a tremendous hunger for God’s word and drew comfort and strength from it. Shortly after being saved I had some economic and relational hardships but I was joyful knowing that the Lord was with me. I wanted my children to know the Lord and grow up in a Christian home. The change must have been dramatic because one day my then 8 year old son asked me if he too could be saved and I explain as best as a young believer could, the gospel, and he too accepted the Lord.

After many years of being a Christian, I’ve experienced many ups and downs. Although I haven’t always being faithful in following and obeying the Lord, He has demonstrated His immutable mercy, love, grace, and faithfulness. He has pulled me out of the mire many times and set my feet on the solid rock. I feel secure in my salvation because His word is true and He is faithful who promised.