Accepted & Forgiven

When I began considering becoming a Christian at age 7 or 8, I started to become more aware of the sins in my life that I just considered part of being a kid--fights with my brother, spats with my friends, etc. What I didn't see was the internal sins, such as greed, pride, self-centeredness, and envy. I began to have this inkling of a feeling that my sin was more than what I was doing to other people and that my sin was hurtful to God. But I didn't quite know how to articulate that. At one point, I confided in my older brother that I thought I needed to be saved. I had grown up in church, sitting on the front row in a small country church every Sunday while my mom played the piano. My brother's response was, "You're not a bad person. Getting saved is for people like Gary." Well, that settled things for me for a while because I definitely didn't think I was as bad as Gary.

The next year or so, conditions turned worse for me personally. My parents divorced. I began to feel insecurity and rejection at a level I had never experienced. I was struggling with life at a young age. I had not yet come face-to-face with my sin, which compounded an already difficult situation me.

The summer of 1980, I went to a Christian camp called Laurel Lake Baptist Camp with a friend of mine who attended another church with an active children's program. In my mind, this was going to be just like the Girl Scout Camp that I had attended as a first and second grader: lots of games and fun. While I did have lots of fun, God had so much more in store for me that week. On Wednesday, July 3, my group went on a hike with our camp counselor and stopped in a cleft of a rock to talk a little more, and that was the moment that I came face-to-face with my sin and understanding that I was (and am) a sinner. I was so remorseful for my sin, and that I had grieved God in my rebellion and in living my life for myself and not for him.

The acceptance and forgiveness of God was the most refreshing experience of my life. I was so grateful and encouraged by His presence. I was absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude that God sacrificed His Son, so that I could be forgiven for my sins and go to Heaven. I also really began to focus outward and have a deep burden and concern for my friends and family who had not yet experienced God's forgiveness and grace.

Many of my friends were saved that summer, and a couple of years later, my brother was saved. God allowed me to be a vessel through prayer and sharing with these people I loved. More than 30 years later after countless prayers, tears, and sharing opportunities, my son Matt (at about age 9--same age as I was when I was saved) and I led my dad to the Lord. What a blessing to share that incredible transformation with three generations!

Did I have everything figured out when I accepted the Lord's invitation to be saved? Absolutely not, and I will not have it all figured out this side of Heaven. However, God has put a desire in me to obey, study his word, pray, and help others. That is from Him and not of me. I didn't earn my way to Heaven. Jesus earned the way for me by dying on the cross for my sins. In gratitude for His sacrifice, I attempt to follow His commands. Do I find it hard to do these things? Yes! Do I fail at times? Yes, unfortunately. But God is good to forgive and to help me move on to the abundant life He has for me and others. Amazingly, Jesus has made me perfect in His sight.