A gift of grace over shame

Before i receive eternal life i was full of shame and regret for the choices i made

I was living in sin and i knew God saw me but i didn't want to talk to him about it or admit i was empty inside. i kept a smile on my face and i kept a strong exterior. Inside i was sad and broken. i felt alone and i didn't like myself very much.

When i received eternal life i realized God's desire was not for me to live in the shadows of shame. He didn't plan for my life to be marginal or struggling. When i realized how much he loved me and how his grace washes over any sin i could possibly have, i was so grateful. God showed me his love in so many ways through people and circumstances. He kept drawing me closer and closer to his heart. I could see and know that i am His child and that his desire for me is to care for me not condemn me.

a heavy veil of shame has been lifted. I no longer hide who I was. I don't have to figure life out alone and fearful of God. "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus!"

I opened my hands during my pray time and said, "I give it all to you Lord. My finances, my job, my children, my worries." I gave all of the things that i was trying to manage and control to God. These things brought me worry and anxiety that i have no ability to control. But God is able to do all things and he sees my needs. He knows the desires of my heart and he go do so much more with my circumstances than i possibly can. God has been faithful and i have watched him move in my job, in relationships, with finances. God can do abundantly more than we can ever ask, desire or imagine. I keep my hands open because He allows me to let go and let him lead.

Jesus Christ died for my sins so I could know his love personally. One day I will meet him in heaven because it is only by knowing him that i am given eternal life. Until then i will praise him and tell others about him.