A Change of Heart

Before I became a christian I was a teenager trying desperately to find happiness through boyfriends, parties, alcohol and doing whatever I thought would take away the sadness and loneliness that I felt.

I remember wanting to feel loved, wanted and happy so badly! One time, after perusing a young guy that I had not known that long but thought was attractive and liked, we ending up being intimate. I thought that being with him would fill the void that I had in my heart. After he fell asleep, I remember standing at the bedroom window , looking outside with tears streaming down my eyes, feeling so let down, so empty, so disappointed!

At an early age I became aware of God's presence in my life but had quickly turned away from Him. Then years later as a young adult, after running away from His prompting to come back, I finally surrendered myself and recommitted my life to Him.

Since receiving Christ as my Lord and Savior, I now know that my joy, peace and sense of being loved is through Him and Him alone. The relationship that I have with Him has filled the void that was in my life before.

When I was a child, I was raped by a family member and for years I held hatred and anger in my heart toward that person. After being saved, God reminded me of how He was able to forgive me of my sins and because of His grace that He poured out toward me, I was able to forgive my offender and truly show love toward him.

I know that my salvation is not because of anything that I have done, but it is despite what I have done. God has promised me eternal life through Jesus Christ and I am looking forward to the day that I will be with Him in heaven for all eternity.