My Story
Making Sure
I was raised in a Baptist church. As far back as I can remember there wasn’t one Sunday that went by that we weren’t in church singing and listening to sermons.
According to our Pastor and the church members present that morning, I was ‘saved’ right then and set to be baptized. My grandfather, being a pastor, was to be the one who handled me in the Baptism waters at the head of the sanctuary. The service went according to plan and he even used a washcloth so I didn’t get water up my nose. Right then and there at the ripe old age of five, a confused, young, wet Ryan was saved, baptized and on his way to heaven.
However, when I was about 16 years old I began to really question/doubt my salvation. I would have dreams of hell and struggle about not hearing God speak to me. However, I would constantly encourage/remind myself “hey man, you were saved when you were a child. Stop the worrying already, your saved!” But I kept going into a personal depression over this decision. Not a depression that anyone on the outside could see but a spiritual uneasiness in my heart.
During the Fall of that year while ‘respectively’ involved in my youth group, we went to a revival at a church in the country. Our youth group filed smugly into this small church, immediately noticing how old, and weird the church building smelled, whispering at how much ‘better’ our church was. The pastor seemed to be in his late 40’s early 50’s and we instantly chalked this revival up as a lost cause. There was no way this old man, in an old church, in the middle of nowhere was going to have anything to say that we can relate to as know-it-all teenagers. Never the less, the pastor got up and started preaching on the topic of “Misconceptions of Salvation.” As he began to speak, my heart began to beat heavily. He started explaining that a person could go through the motions of accepting Christ into their live but not receive him do the insincerity of our hearts. That not only do you have to say the prayer and get baptized, but you have to truly ‘MEAN IT!’ What a concept! I had never heard someone explain salvation to me like that before in my life, or if I had I tuned it out ‘knowing’ that I was already saved. Then to drive it home, he used the example of going forward to receive Christ at such a young age that you truly didn’t understand what you were receiving. To this day I believe that the youth trip to this revival was meant specifically for me to understand the truth of my salvation.
So in that small old church in the country Jesus finally took control of my life and I started my journey of getting to know the One who loved me from the beginning.
Upon receiving Christ that evening, in that old church, all my doubts where lifted and I was finally able to begin my Christian life free of worries and excited about my new relationship with Christ!
As a Christian I still have struggles like everyone else, but I can say that I am free of doubt and every day is a chance to get to know my Savior more!
Jesus had always been there knocking. He never left or gave up on me, even while I thought I had Him in my life. He simply waited and directed me to Himself through the most unlikely set of circumstances. I now have the peace and assurance that Jesus is in control of my life and I know I will spend the rest of eternity with Him in heaven.
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