My Story
I was very young and self-focused. Others were a hindrance or a way to get something.
I would fight with my brother and sisters. I would fight with my parents and I always had to be right. It didn't matter if I really was.
Then I was shown that my path was headed toward destruction and that I was wrong, and I needed to get right.
As a result, I've lost the pressure of having to be correct in all I do. I've realized that God is the one responsible for me and others. I do still need to be close to him, but he rules my actions and I no longer feel that weight.
I remember sitting at my desk in high school one night thinking about colleges. I felt sure of what God had equipped and wanted me to do with my life, but deciding what College was the best path to make this happen was daunting. When I realized that I was trying to think through it all on my own and was taking all the responsibility onto my own shoulders, I stopped. I prayed and filled out one application. I never managed to get around to filling out the second application.
I was accepted by my first choice, a place where I couldn't see how God was going to hone my talents and interest in technology, but He did. While attending a Bible College with only an Intro to computers class that I was excused from and later taught in a few times, I thought I wouldn't have the opportunity to learn the things I needed to become the missionary tech support guy that God had put on my heart. As it turned out, I had a job with the computer department before classes started. By the third year, I was running the department and at the end of six years I had soaked up loads of information not only about technology, but about non-profit organizations and the business side of interacting with people in a setting like this. God supplied in a way that only he could have forseen and I'm confident that the experiential education he provided was, for me, much stronger than I would have received in a classroom. It simply fits me better.
After, I received eternal life, I really can say that God took control and took the weight off. Prov. 3:5 and 6 became a promise to me that I held to firmly. "In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths."
The clear direction God has given me through his orchestration of events and the change in my life affirms that I am going to heaven, not because of my actions, but because I lean on Him and even when I mess up, I know He will be there to pick me back up and encourage me to keep acknowledging him in my ways and my words.
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